vin' your 'taters 'way to
please Parson? Yet I do allus say as 'taters what a man grows wi' sweat
of 'is own brow do beat all others in t' eatin'."

"That may be; but us can't afford to be so mighty pernickerty in time o'
war. Nor we ain't givin' nothin 'way in manner o' speakin'. Fair market
price they gives for 'em in London. So it be somethin' in 'and in these
'ard times as well as savin' Parson from a bitter disappointment what 'e
ain't done nothin' to deserve, so far as I can see."

* * * * *

"Two organ grinders, aged 23 and 16, were taken to Charing Cross
Hospital to-day with bad injuries and severe shock, the result of a
barrel organ getting out of control in Rosebery-avenue."--_Evening
Paper_.

They should try a less dangerous instrument next time.

* * * * *

"'Seed potatoes' means potatoes grown in Scotland or Ireland in the
year 1917, or grown in England or Wales in the year 1917 from seed
grown in Scotland or Ireland in the year 1916, which will pass
through a riddle having a 1-5/8-in. mesh, and will not pass through
a riddle having a 1-5/8-in. mesh."--_Journal of the Board of
Agriculture_.

We ourselves cannot get through any riddle of this kind.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Sergeant (instructing squad of volunteers in physical
drill)._ "THIS 'ERE HEXERCISE IS INTENDED TO 'ARDEN THE MUSCLES OF
THE STUMMICK AND MAKE IT HIMPERVIOUS TO GERMAN BULLETS HIN CASE OF
HINVASION."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

_(By Mr, Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks.)_

It is difficult within the ordinary limits of a review in these columns
to say all that one feels or even to express adequately one's gratitude
after reading the two volumes of Lord MORLEY'S generous and delightful
_Recollections_ (MACMILLAN). I seem to have been sitting with him in a
large and comfortable library while the great Viscount rolled me out his
mind, now breaking out into a glowing eulogy of GEORGE MEREDITH, JOSEPH
CHAMBERLAIN or LESLIE STEPHEN, or again dashing off with a few firm and
skilful strokes a portrait of JOHN MILL or HERBERT SPENCER, or some
other intellectual giant of that nineteenth century which Lord MORLEY
nobly defends and of which he himself was _grande decus columenque_. The
book is crammed with passages that arouse and maintain pleasure in
the reader and