s particular visit. We were lucky, though
at first we scarcely saw it, in getting two evenly matched ironclad
bores together. If we had had only one, the matter would have been far
more difficult.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE SERPENT'S TOOTH.

"DIDN'T I SEND 'IM TO HETON AN' HOXFORD? DIDN'T I SEND 'IM INTO THE
HARMY, ALONG O' SOME O' THE BIGGEST NOBS IN ALL HENGLAND, WITH AN
ALLOWANCE FIT FOR A YOUNG HEARL? AND WHAT'S THE HUPSHOT OF IT ALL?
WHY, HE GIVES DINNERS TO DOOKS AND ROYAL 'IGHNESSES, AN' DON'T EVEN
HARSK 'IS PORE OLD FATHER TO MEET 'EM. 'IGHNESSES, INDEED! I COULD BUY
UP THE 'OLE BLESSED LOT! AND, _WHAT'S MORE, I WOULDN'T MIND TELLIN'
'EM SO TO THEIR FACES, FOR TWO PINS!--AH! JUST AS SOON AS LOOK AT
'EM--AND 'E KNOWS IT!_"]

* * * * *

UNDECIDED.

Goosey, Goose, Uganda,
With whom will you wander,
With the English, with the French?
Or with King MWANGA?

* * * * *

ADVICE GRATIS (_by a Bill Poster_).--"Invest all your savings in
hoardings."

* * * * *

THE COMPLIMENT OF COIN.

(_AN EXTRACT FROM MR. PUNCH'S PURELY IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS._)

SCENE--_Interior of a Palace._ Emperor _and_ Empress
_discovered discussing the former's tour in foreign parts._

_Emperor_ (_finishing a good story_). So after I had made a hearty
meal off the bread-and-milk, I gave the old woman a note for five
thousand thalers, and told her to buy a three-sous portrait of
myself so that she might see the Sovereign that she had saved from
starvation. Ha! ha! ha! Wasn't it amusing?

_Empress_ (_smiling_). Very, dear; but wasn't it a little expensive?
Surely you could have got the bread-and-milk for a smaller sum?

_Emperor._ Of course I could! But then, don't you see, it made me
popular. It's in all the papers, and reads splendidly!

_Empress._ Yes, of course, dear. By the way, I found this volume
(_producing book bound in velvet with real gold clasps_) in your
overcoat. May I peep into it?

_Emperor_ (_doubtfully_). I don't think you will find it particularly
interesting. I have just jotted down my petty cash disbursements.

_Empress_ (_opening book and glancing at contents_). Dear me! Why the
total amounts to L15,000! I see it's put in English money.

_Emperor._ Yes, it saves trouble. When I am travelling I get rather
confused with all coinage save that of Mother's Fathe