*

SICK.

Dear MR. PUNCH,--Excuse this tosh,
But I've succumbed to measles (Bosch),
And all my dreary hours are spent
Inside a vast and gloomy tent.
So, as I'm feeling rather blue,
I thought I'd better write to you.
All known diseases here you'll find
(This letter's steamed, you needn't mind);
But in my tent there's only one,
I'm glad to say, viz., measles (Hun).
The Nurses all are Scotch and stout,
So are the drinks I do without;
I don't complain of lack of fruit--
At least we don't get arrowroot--
Nor have I even ever seen a
Single plate of semolina.
So life is not so bad, you see,
Except for chlorine in the tea.
I think that's all, so now will end,
Hoping this finds you, dearest friend,
Just as it leaves me, in the pink
(My rash is not quite gone, I think).

* * * * *

"Now those precious divisions have to be hurled into the furnace to
avert a veritable landslide."--_Sunday Paper._

The shortage of men in the German Army has evidently been exaggerated. This
confirms the evidence from other sources that they have troops to burn.

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"HAMLET."

To prepare a very own version of _Hamlet_ and play it with credit--that is
still the blue riband of the Stage. Mr. H.B. IRVING has fairly won it. The
version seemed to me apt. He tells us that his main purpose was to bring
out the story as if for those who had never seen the play before. It is a
rational point of view, and certainly it seemed a distinct improvement not
to lose sight of _Hamlet's_ adventure to England, as is commonly the case,
and to keep the essential sequence of events and the personality of the
Prince constantly before the audience. The justification of the heroic cuts
and adaptations was that the action did move faster towards the tragic end,
instead of seeming to drag rather tiresomely as (be it confessed) it
sometimes does.

[Illustration: "OUR SON IS FAT AND SCANT OF BREATH."

(We shouldn't have guessed it, but his own mother ought to know.)

_Hamlet_ . . . . . . . MR. H.B. IRVING.]

Observers contrasting this with Mr. IRVING'S earlier performance remarked a
gain in depth and fire and a happier restraint of mannerism. It was a very
notable and gracious piece of work. He has the player's first gift, an
arresting personality. His elocution has distinction. He conveys the beauty
of the words and the