d
ever get run in. So we goes along gettin' ready for the weddin' same's
if nothin's happened. It's billed for a church hitch; but there ain't
been any advertisin' done, so they don't expect any crowd. Look when
they has it too--right at lunch time!

"Chee!" says I to Mr. Robert, who's running the thing, "you must be
playin' for a frost. Now if you'd hire one of them Third-ave. halls and
band, you might give 'em somethin' of a send-off; but it'll be hard to
tell this racket from one of these noonday prayin' bees they has down in
the wholesale crock'ry district."

Mr. Robert says that Benny bein' so bashful, and Mildred not knowin'
many folks on East, they wanted to make it as quiet as they could.

"It'll have a pantomime show beat to death on quiet," says I. "Put me on
the door, will you, so's I can keep awake joshin' the sidewalk cop?"

Mr. Robert says he thinks that'll be a good place for me, as they ain't
goin' to let anyone in without a ticket and I'm used to shuntin' cranks.
But say, I'm so rattled when I get inside of that suit they sent around
for me to wear that I don't know whether I'm goin' up or comin' down.
Honest, that coat made me feel like I was wearin' a dress. I didn't mind
the striped pants,--they was all to the good,--but them skirts flappin'
around my knees was the limit.

Think I had the face to spring that outfit on the folks at the boardin'
house? Never in a year! Why, some of them Lizzie girls rangin' the block
would have guyed me out of the borough. I just folds the thing inside
out over my arm, like it was some one's overcoat I was takin' around to
have a button shifted, and when I gets to the church I slides up into
the gallery and makes a quick change. Mr. Robert looks me over and says
no one would guess it was me.

"I'm hopin' they don't," says I.

But as soon as the carriages begun comin' and I gets busy callin' for
the seat checks, I forgets how I looks and stops huntin' for some place
to stow my hands. It was a cinch job. There was only a few lady butt-ins
that had strayed over from the shoppin' district and smelled out a free
show.

"We're intimate friends of the bride," says a pair of 'em; "but we've
forgotten our tickets."

"That's good, but musty. Butt out, please," says I.

Chee! but I ain't used up so much politeness since I can remember! It
was wearin' them clothes did it, I guess.

Well, I was gettin' to feel real gay, for most everyone that was due was
inside, and I