troduced Bill as his
ex-assistant, who's gone West and got himself a job as chaplain in a
State prison, and Aunt Laura loses her breath tryin' to apologize to
both of 'em at once. Think of that! We'd been playin' him for all kinds
of a crook, and here he was a sure enough minister!

Well, I gets him back to the church just in time for the last curtain,
so he can see what a stunner Mildred was in her canopy-top outfit. He's
all right, Brother Bill is. Never gives me any call-down for shuntin'
him off the way I did and makin' him miss most of the show. As I says to
him afterward:

"Bill," says I, "that was one on me. But we did throw the hook into Aunt
Laura some! What?"

CHAPTER VII

KEEPING TABS ON PIDDIE

Say, I thought I knew Piddie. If anybody'd asked me to pick a party for
the Honest John act from among the crowd we got around the Corrugated
Trust here, I'd made J. Hemmingway Piddie my one best bet. He's been
with the concern ever since Old Hickory Ellins flim-flammed his partners
out of their share of the business and took out a New Jersey chartered
permit that allowed him to practice grand larceny.

If Piddie hadn't been a pinhead, he'd had his name on the board of
directors years ago. But there ain't no use tryin' to make parlor
comp'ny out of kitchen help; so Piddie's just trailed along, bein' as
useful as he knew how, and workin' up from ten a week to one fifty a
month, just as satisfied as if he was gettin' his per cent. of the
profits.

What he does around the shop wouldn't turn anyone gray-headed; but he
makes the most of it. He swells up more over orderin' a few office
supplies than Mr. Robert would about signin' a million-dollar contract,
and the way he keeps watch of the towels and soap and spring water you'd
think our stock was fallin' below par, 'stead of payin' nine per cent,
on common. Gen'rally Piddie don't handle anything but petty cash; but
once in awhile, when no one else is handy, they chuck something big his
way, and he never lets up until everyone knows all about it. You can
tell how chesty he feels, just by his strut.

Well, there'd been a big rush on, and they was usin' Piddie more or less
frequent, so I was gettin' used to his makin' a noise like a balloon,
when one mornin' he come turkeyin' out to the brass gate and says to me:

"Torchy, call up 0079 Broad and get the opening on Blitzen."

"Sure," says I. "And if it touches seven-eighths don't you want to
unload a coupl