"That's fine!" says I. "But won't you be late gettin' over to
Grand-st.?"

Izzy was still explainin' how long it was since his folks moved to the
West Side, and what swell things they had in the parlor, when Tessie
floats out with her new spring lid and princess walkin' suit on. I'm
just shovin' out the peace offerin' and gettin' ready to hand over my
smoothest josh, when she brushes past like I was part of the wall
decoration, squeals, "Oh, Mr. Budheimer!" and begins showin' Izzy some
tickets for the grand annual benefit ball of the Shirtwaist Makers'
Union, and tellin' him how she was sellin' 'em for her sister, and what
a grand time it was goin' to be.

"How much?" says Izzy, tryin' hard to choke it back, but losin' the
struggle.

"Seventy-five for a double ticket," says Tessie. "That's the kind you
want."

"Maybe I would yet, if I could get a partner," says he.

"Ain't that an awful sad case?" says Tessie. "Nobody's teased me very
hard, either."

"You'll go with me, yes?" says Izzy.

"It's awful sudden," says she; "but a chance is a chance. Don't send a
cab; the folks in the block might think I was putting on."

And me? Why, I don't show on the chart at all! Right under my nose she
does it, and don't even give me a sideways glance.

"Pooh!" says I. "Pooh, pooh!"

"What a cute little fellah!" says Tessie to him as they crowds into the
elevator with the rest of the push.

"Say," says I, making a jump for the grating, "you don't need to----"

"Next car!" sings out the Johnny Flip, slammin' the door. Now wa'n't
that rubbin' it in?

"Coises!" says I. "Deep coises!" and walks down eleven flights with a
temperature that would have got me condemned by any boiler inspector in
the business. The candy? That goes to one of the pie-faced maids where I
lives.

The nerve of that Izzy, though! In the mornin' he comes around just like
nothin' had happened and wants to know if I'll sub. for him on his
evenin' job the night he goes to the ball. To show I don't carry any
grouch, I says I will; but he offers only half-pay and makes me agree to
split the tips with him.

"I couldn't afford it, at that," says he, "only this is a kid session
and the graft will be light."

It's this checkroom work of his, you know, at one of them swell
Fifth-ave. joints where they have an extra night force on call for
coming-out parties and dinner dances and the like. So, while him and
Tessie is enjoyin' themselves with the lady shirtw