fere. The sequel was disastrous.

In the first place Brackett, in his casual way, omitted to say anything
about his being married until Mrs. Brackett was actually in the house. Even
then he seems to have been rather ambiguous in his explanations. Anyway the
new maids were, or affected to be, profoundly shocked. They intimated that
they would never have entered so irregular an establishment had they known,
and departed _en masse_ after spreading a scandal among the tradespeople
which will take the Bracketts twenty years to live down.

* * * * *

THE ARRESTING POWER OF BEAUTY.

"You dreamed of someone with whiskers who made your heart stop beating
in your tiny waist every time he looked at you."--_Home Notes._

* * * * *

"General, good plain cook; L45; flat, Maida Vale; constant hot water."
--_Times._

But why tell the poor woman beforehand?

* * * * *

"It recalls the distressing aphorism:

'Life is real, life is earnest,
And things are not what they seem.'"

_Liverpool Post and Mercury._

For example, this may seem like a quotation from the "Psalm of Life," but
it isn't.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A TEST OF SAGACITY.

MR. LLOYD GEORGE. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WITH THE LETTERS I HAVE PLACED
BEFORE HIM OUR LEARNED FRIEND WILL NOW SPELL OUT SOMETHING THAT SIGNIFIES
THE GREATEST HAPPINESS FOR IRELAND."

THE PIG. "_I_ CAN'T MAKE THE BEASTLY THING SPELL 'REPUBLIC.'"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Tuesday, February 10th._--As HIS MAJESTY read his gracious speech to the
assembled Lords and Commons did his thoughts flow back for a moment to the
last time he opened Parliament in person? It was on another February 10th,
in 1914, and so little was the coming storm foreseen that the customary
announcement, "My relations with Foreign Powers continue to be friendly,"
was followed by a special reference to the satisfactory progress of "my
negotiations with the German Government and the Ottoman Government"
regarding--Mesopotamia, of all places.

[Illustration: I AM AFRAID I AM GETTING CONTROVERSIAL."--_Mr. Lloyd
George._]

Since then everything has changed--save one. Ireland remains the skeleton
at the feast. The condition of that unhappy country still causes HIS
MAJESTY "grave concern," to be removed, let us piously hope, by t