ng. All the stations and
starting-places will be picketed; business will be paralysed."

"Except for the stout fellows who walk," I suggested.

"They will find it very lonely at their offices," said Charles. "Nobody
wants to work if there's any excuse to avoid it, and the beauty of the
thing is that we can strike not only against ordinary employers, but
against the raising of fares, and against the N.U.R. or the Vehicle and
Transport Workers Union itself. That will be the quickest strike that has
ever been struck. You can't go on banging lifts and gates and rushing about
in empty buses without anybody to shove into the dirt or any thumbs to snip
bits out of. It takes all the enjoyment out of life."

"And where exactly do you come in?" I asked.

"I intend to be the Organising Secretary of the A.S.P.," he said. "It will
be hard work, but very meritorious."

"Rather a nuisance won't it be on strike days," I inquired, "going round
and visiting a few thousand pickets on foot in your black coat, with the
brain waves working on top?"

"The O.S. of the A.S.P.," answered Charles magnificently, "will not move
about on foot. He will be provided with a handsome motor-car."

EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Constable._ "NOW THEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' UP HERE?"

_Burglar._ "WOTCHER S'POSE I'M DOIN'? FEEDIN' THE PUSSY-CATS?"]

* * * * *

"A van containing L3,000 worth of woollen goods has been stolen from
Broad-street, Bloomsbury. It was left unattended by the driver, who
went into a restaurant for dinner and later was found empty at
Holloway."--_Provincial Paper._

We know that kind of restaurant.

* * * * *

"ACCOUNTING FOR WOMEN."--_American Paper._

We had always been told there was no accounting for them.

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"CARNIVAL."

Those who imagined that they were to be given a dramatic version of Mr.
COMPTON MACKENZIE'S romance must have been shocked to find that the
entertainment provided at the New Theatre was just a variation, from an
Italian source, of the general idea of _Pagliacci_. But it was the only
palpable shock they sustained, for never did a play run a more obvious
course from start to finish. When you have for your leading character an
actor-manager, who plays the part of _Othello_, with his wife as
_Desdemona_ (how well we know to our c