) her place. My step-mamma, who happened to be
in town, came flying down in her chariot, pounced upon the poor thing
and the children in the midst of the entertainment; and when I asked
her, with rather a bad grace to be sure, to take a chair and a share of
the feast--"Mr. Fitz-Boodle," said she, "I am not accustomed to sit
down in a place that smells of tobacco like an ale-house--an ale-house
inhabited by a SERPENT, sir! A SERPENT!--do you understand me?--who
carries his poison into his brother's own house, and purshues his
eenfamous designs before his brother's own children. Put on Miss Maria's
bonnet this instant. Mamsell, ontondy-voo? Metty le bonny a mamsell. And
I shall take care, Mamsell, that you return to Switzerland to-morrow.
I've no doubt you are a relation of Courvoisier--oui! oui! courvoisier,
vous comprenny--and you shall certainly be sent back to your friends."

With this speech, and with the children and their maid sobbing before
her, my lady retired; but for once my sister-in-law was on my side, not
liking the meddlement of the elder lady.

I know, then, that from indulging in that simple habit of smoking, I
have gained among the ladies a dreadful reputation. I see that they look
coolly upon me, and darkly at their husbands when they arrive at home in
my company. Men, I observe, in consequence, ask me to dine much oftener
at the club, or the "Star and Garter" at Richmond, or at "Lovegrove's,"
than in their own houses; and with this sort of arrangement I am fain to
acquiesce; for, as I said before, I am of an easy temper, and can at any
rate take my cigar-case out after dinner at Blackwall, when my lady or
the duchess is not by. I know, of course, the best MEN in town; and
as for ladies' society, not having it (for I will have none of your
pseudo-ladies, such as sometimes honor bachelors' parties,--actresses,
couturieres, opera-dancers, and so forth)--as for ladies' society, I
say, I cry pish! 'tis not worth the trouble of the complimenting, and
the bother of pumps and black silk stockings.

Let any man remember what ladies' society was when he had an opportunity
of seeing them among themselves, as What-d'ye-call'im does in the
Thesmophoria--(I beg pardon, I was on the verge of a classical allusion,
which I abominate)--I mean at that period of his life when the intellect
is pretty acute, though the body is small--namely, when a young
gentleman is about eleven years of age, dining at his father's
table