something about a "little French milliner," and walked
off, looking as knowing as I could.

In Paris, two Cambridge-men and myself, who happened to be staying at
a boarding-house together, agreed to go to Coulon, a little creature of
four feet high with a pigtail. His room was hung round with glasses. He
made us take off our coats, and dance each before a mirror. Once he was
standing before us playing on his kit the sight of the little master
and the pupil was so supremely ridiculous, that I burst into a yell of
laughter, which so offended the old man that he walked away abruptly,
and begged me not to repeat my visits. Nor did I. I was just getting
into waltzing then, but determined to drop waltzing, and content myself
with quadrilling for the rest of my days.

This was all very well in France and England; but in Germany what was
I to do? What did Hercules do when Omphale captivated him? What did
Rinaldo do when Armida fixed upon him her twinkling eyes? Nay, to cut
all historical instances short, by going at once to the earliest, what
did Adam do when Eve tempted him? He yielded and became her slave; and
so I do heartily trust every honest man will yield until the end of the
world--he has no heart who will not. When I was in Germany, I say, I
began to learn to WALTZ. The reader from this will no doubt expect
that some new love-adventures befell me--nor will his gentle heart be
disappointed. Two deep and tremendous incidents occurred which shall be
notified on the present occasion.

The reader, perhaps, remembers the brief appearance of his Highness the
Duke of Kalbsbraten-Pumpernickel at B---- House, in the first part of
my Memoirs, at that unlucky period of my life when the Duke was led
to remark the odor about my clothes, which lost me the hand of Mary
M'Alister. I somehow found myself in his Highness's territories, of
which anybody may read a description in the Almanach de Gotha. His
Highness's father, as is well known, married Emilia Kunegunda Thomasina
Charleria Emanuela Louisa Georgina, Princess of Saxe-Pumpernickel, and a
cousin of his Highness the Duke. Thus the two principalities were united
under one happy sovereign in the person of Philibert Sigismund Emanuel
Maria, the reigning Duke, who has received from his country (on
account of the celebrated pump which he erected in the marketplace
of Kalbsbraten) the well-merited appellation of the Magnificent. The
allegory which the statues round about the pump rep