as the Venetians did with the fish
called gobius; the Belgres with butter, or (as we do yet also) with
butter and eggs upon fish days. But whereas we commonly begin with the
most gross food, and end with the most delicate, the Scot, thinking
much to leave the best for his menial servants, maketh his entrance at
the best, so that he is sure thereby to leave the worst. We use also
our wines by degrees, so that the hostess cometh last to the table:
but to stand upon such toys would spend much time, and turn to small
profit. Wherefore I will deal with other things more necessary for
this turn.

CHAPTER VII

OF OUR APPAREL AND ATTIRE

[1577, Book III., Chapter 2; 1587, Book II., Chapter 7.]

An Englishman, endeavouring sometime to write of our attire, made
sundry platforms for his purpose, supposing by some of them to find
out one steadfast ground whereon to build the sum of his discourse.
But in the end (like an orator long without exercise), when he saw
what a difficult piece of work he had taken in hand, he gave over his
travel, and only drew the picture of a naked man[1], unto whom he
gave a pair of shears in the one hand and a piece of cloth in the
other, to the end he should shape his apparel after such fashion as
himself liked, sith he could find no kind of garment that could
please him any while together; and this he called an Englishman.
Certes this writer (otherwise being a lewd popish hypocrite and
ungracious priest) shewed himself herein not to be altogether void of
judgment, sith the phantastical folly of our nation (even from the
courtier to the carter) is such that no form of apparel liketh us
longer than the first garment is in the wearing, if it continue so
long, and be not laid aside to receive some other trinket newly
devised by the fickle-headed tailors, who covet to have several
tricks in cutting, thereby to draw fond customers to more expense of
money. For my part, I can tell better how to inveigh against this
enormity than describe any certainty of our attire; sithence such is
our mutability that to-day there is none to the Spanish guise,
to-morrow the French toys are most fine and delectable, ere long no
such apparel as that which is after the high Almaine fashion,
by-and-by the Turkish manner is generally best liked of, otherwise
the Morisco gowns, the Barbarian fleeces, the mandilion worn to
Colley-Weston ward, and the short French breeches make such a comely
vesture that, except it w