had the means of comparison. I have worked at it. I have
measured myself against other public speakers,--Members of Parliament,
Platforms, Pulpits, Counsel learned in the law,--and where I have found
'em good, I have took a bit of imagination from 'em, and where I have
found 'em bad, I have let 'em alone. Now I'll tell you what. I mean to
go down into my grave declaring that of all the callings ill used in
Great Britain, the Cheap Jack calling is the worst used. Why ain't we a
profession? Why ain't we endowed with privileges? Why are we forced to
take out a hawker's license, when no such thing is expected of the
political hawkers? Where's the difference betwixt us? Except that we
are Cheap Jacks and they are Dear Jacks, _I_ don't see any difference but
what's in our favour.

For look here! Say it's election time. I am on the footboard of my cart
in the market-place, on a Saturday night. I put up a general
miscellaneous lot. I say: "Now here, my free and independent woters, I'm
a going to give you such a chance as you never had in all your born days,
nor yet the days preceding. Now I'll show you what I am a going to do
with you. Here's a pair of razors that'll shave you closer than the
Board of Guardians; here's a flat-iron worth its weight in gold; here's a
frying-pan artificially flavoured with essence of beefsteaks to that
degree that you've only got for the rest of your lives to fry bread and
dripping in it and there you are replete with animal food; here's a
genuine chronometer watch in such a solid silver case that you may knock
at the door with it when you come home late from a social meeting, and
rouse your wife and family, and save up your knocker for the postman; and
here's half-a-dozen dinner plates that you may play the cymbals with to
charm baby when it's fractious. Stop! I'll throw in another article,
and I'll give you that, and it's a rolling-pin; and if the baby can only
get it well into its mouth when its teeth is coming and rub the gums once
with it, they'll come through double, in a fit of laughter equal to being
tickled. Stop again! I'll throw you in another article, because I don't
like the looks of you, for you haven't the appearance of buyers unless I
lose by you, and because I'd rather lose than not take money to-night,
and that's a looking-glass in which you may see how ugly you look when
you don't bid. What do you say now? Come! Do you say a pound? Not
you, for you haven't