have taken on a lugubrious
tint in my memory.

"I arrived at the steps. It was an hour past midnight. A few isvotchiks
were before the door, awaiting customers, attracted by the lighted
windows (the lighted windows were those of our parlor and reception
room). Without trying to account for this late illumination, I went up
the steps, always with the same expectation of something terrible, and
I rang. The servant, a good, industrious, and very stupid being, named
Gregor, opened the door. The first thing that leaped to my eyes in the
hall, on the hat-stand, among other garments, was an overcoat. I ought
to have been astonished, but I was not astonished. I expected it.
'That's it!' I said to myself.

"When I had asked Gregor who was there, and he had named
Troukhatchevsky, I inquired whether there were other visitors. He
answered: 'Nobody.' I remember the air with which he said that, with
a tone that was intended to give me pleasure, and dissipate my doubts.
'That's it! that's it!' I had the air of saying to myself. 'And the
children?'

"'Thank God, they are very well. They went to sleep long ago.'

"I scarcely breathed, and I could not keep my jaw from trembling.

"Then it was not as I thought. I had often before returned home with the
thought that a misfortune had awaited me, but had been mistaken, and
everything was going on as usual. But now things were not going on as
usual. All that I had imagined, all that I believed to be chimeras, all
really existed. Here was the truth.

"I was on the point of sobbing, but straightway the demon whispered in
my ear: 'Weep and be sentimental, and they will separate quietly, and
there will be no proofs, and all your life you will doubt and suffer.'
And pity for myself vanished, and there remained only the bestial need
of some adroit, cunning, and energetic action. I became a beast, an
intelligent beast.

"'No, no,' said I to Gregor, who was about to announce my arrival. 'Do
this, take a carriage, and go at once for my baggage. Here is the check.
Start.'

"He went along the hall to get his overcoat. Fearing lest he might
frighten them, I accompanied him to his little room, and waited for him
to put on his things. In the dining-room could be heard the sound of
conversation and the rattling of knives and plates. They were eating.
They had not heard the ring. 'Now if they only do not go out,' I
thought.

"Gregor put on his fur-collared coat and went out. I closed the door
a