45
V. In Which Socrates Discusses the Over-Production of Talk 55
VI. In Which Betsey Commits an Indiscretion 69
VII. In Which Socrates Attacks the Worst Doers and Best
Sellers 75
VIII. In Which Socrates Attacks the Helmet and the Battle-Ax 84
IX. In Which Socrates Increases the Supply of Splendor 91
X. In Which Socrates Breaks the Drag and Tandem Monopoly in
Pointview 99
XI. In Which Sundry People Make Great Discoveries 106
XII. In Which Harry Is Forced to Abandon Swamp Fiction and
Like Follies and to Study the Geography and Natives
of a Land Unknown to Our Heiristocracy 118
XIII. In Which the Minister Gets Into Love and Trouble 127
XIV. In Which Socrates Discovers a New Folly 139
XV. In Which Harry Returns to Pointview and Goes to Work 148
XVI. Which Presents an Incident in Our Campaign Against New
New England 171
XVII. Which Presents a Decisive Incident in Our Campaign
Against Old New England 176

ILLUSTRATIONS

"SHE WISHED ME TO SUGGEST SOMETHING FOR HER TO DO" Frontispiece
"WHAT DIDN'T THEY SAY? THEY FLEW AT ME LIKE WILDCATS." 60
"'IT'S THE VAN ALSTYNE CREST,' I SAID. 'IT'S A PROOF OF
RESPECTABILITY.'" 86
"RADIANT IN SILK, LACE, DIAMONDS, PEARLS, AND RUBIES" 94
"HARRY'S PET COLLIE HAD COME UP TO THE BACK DOOR WITH A
HUMAN SKULL IN HIS MOUTH" 148
"HE LOOKED LIKE A MAN WITH A WOODEN LEG" 188

FOREWORD

It may interest, if it does not comfort, the reader to know that
this little story is built upon facts. The ride of Harry, the
hundred-dollar pimple, the psychological hair, the downfall of Roger,
all happened, while the Bishop's Head is one of the possessions of a
New England family.

I. B.

"CHARGE IT"

I

IN WHICH HARRY SWIFTLY PASSES FROM ONE STAGE OF HIS CAREER TO ANOTHER

"Harry and I were waiting for his motor-car," said the Honorable
Socrates Potter. "He couldn