it. The
sport had become too exciting. Tommy told me how he had invited
Bridget Maloney, and she had said: 'Na-a-ah! Do yez take me for an
idiot? Sure every rotten egg in the town would be jumpin' at me.'

"It suggested an idea. As the imitation idiots had given out, we
would try the real thing. So I 'phoned the manager of our thriving
idiot asylum on the Post Road and arranged to have Tommy take one of
his patients every day for a drive in the cart. Why shouldn't all the
idiots enjoy themselves? Fresh air would be good for them. It would
turn the cart into a charity which would cover a part of my sins. I
asked for the better class of idiots--the quiet ones, who had sense
enough to appreciate a good thing. The parade began and continued day
after day.

"Harry had retired his tandem after Tom, with a stiff-backed idiot by
his side, had clattered after him through the village behind the two
spavined nags to the amusement of many people. He had kept up with
Harry.

"Soon that kind of a rig was known as the Idiot Wagon. Then Tommy
resigned; it was more than he could stand. He said he was willing to
do any honest work for money, but not that. He said that the idiots
imagined themselves rich, and put on so much style that it made the
whole thing ridiculous.

"'Never mind--it's the habit of idiots,' I said.

"'One of 'em thinks he's Napoleon Bonaparte, an' calls me his man, and
wears a plug hat and sits as straight as a ramrod, and bows to the
people when they laugh at him,' said Tommy. 'Some of 'em get stuck on
the cart, and it's a fight to get 'em out of it. I tell ye, I'm sick
o' the job. The sight o' that cart makes me feel nutty.'

"'Never mind, Tom,' I said; 'you've been a public benefactor, and you
and the cart are entitled to an honorable discharge.'

"Every bright day the drag was tooling over the road with picnic-parties
on their way to one of the popular beaches. Our local lodges and
political clubs, and now and then a load of Italians, were able to
enjoy the luxury which had been the exclusive delight of Harry and the
fluffy maidens of Pointview.

"Drags an' tandems are all right if you don't go too far with 'em. We
were just in time to prevent them from becoming tools of degeneration
in our village."

XI

IN WHICH SUNDRY PEOPLE MAKE GREAT DISCOVERIES

"There were many private panics in Pointview. It was my privilege to
observe, under calm exteriors, a raging fever of excitement--characters