that's printed on Georgy sile? On the very fust page of the
gentleman's book I seed the name of the sitty of Bosting. Yes, sur, it
was ritten in Bosting, where they don't know no more about the hire of a
nigger than an ox knows the man who will tan his hide." I sed sum more
things that was pinted and patriotik, and closd my argyment by handin'
the book to the Squire. He put on his speks, and atter lookin' at the
book about a minit, ses he:

"Mr. Arp, you can have a judgment, and I hope that from hensefourth no
lawyer will presoom to cum before this honerabul court with pisen
dokyments to proove his case. If he do, this court will take it as an
insult, and send him to jail."

I look upon this case as a warnin' to all foaks who gambel in law to
hold a good hand and play it well. High jestice and patriotism are
winning trumps.

My next case was about steelin' a hog. Larseny from the woods, I think
they call it. I didn't hav but one hog, and we had to let him run out to
keep him alive, for akorns was cheeper than corn at my house. Old
Romulus Ramsour sorter wanted sum fresh meat, and so he shot my shote in
the woods, and was catched carrying him home. He had cut off his ears
and throwed 'em away; but we found 'em, with the under bit in the right
and swaller fork in the left, and so Romulus was brot up square before
the jewry, and his defense was that it was a wild hog. The jewry was out
about two hours and brot in a verdik: "We, the jewry, know that shortly
atter the war the kountry was scarce of provishuns, and in considerashun
of the hard time our poor peepul had in maintainin' their families, and
the temtashuns that surrounded 'em, we find the defendant not guilty,
but we rekommend him not to do so any more." The motto of this case is
that a man ortent to keep hogs in a poor naberhood.

After this I had a diffikulty with a man by the name of Kohen, and I
thot I wouldn't go to law, but would arbytrate. I had bot Tom Swillins'
wheat at a dollar a bushel, _if he couldn't do any better_, and if he
could do better he was to cum back and _giv me the prefferense_. The
skamp went off and sold the wheat to Kohen for a dollar and five cents,
and Kohen knowd all about his kontrak with me. Me and him lik to hav
fit, and perhaps would, if I hadn't been puny; but we finally left it to
Josh Billins to arbytrate. Old Josh deliberated on the thing three days
and nites, and finally brot in an award that Kohen should hav the wheat
an'