holding my hand as the door opened and Elizabeth shot into view with
the declaration, 'Dinner's in.'

We have a massive and imposing looking gong erected in the hall for the
sole purpose of announcing when meals are ready, but nothing will
induce Elizabeth to make use of it. If we are upstairs she hails us
from below with such expressions as 'Come on, now, it's getting cold,'
or, 'I won't bring it in till you're all 'ere, so mind you 'urry.'

If William had appeared strange, it struck me that Marion--who was also
dining with us that evening--was even stranger. For one thing, I
regret to say, she was exceedingly rude to William. She does not like
him, I know, but he was after all our guest, and she was not justified
in remarking, when he upset his wine on the tablecloth, and knocked
over an adjacent salt-cellar, 'If there's anything in the world I
loathe, it is a clumsy man.'

'I must admit I _am_ extremely clumsy--like an elephant, in fact,' came
the soft answer from William.

It did not turn away Marion's wrath. 'So I see,' she snapped.

I kicked her gently under the table. 'Marion, _dear_,' I remonstrated.

'Nothing in the world will ever improve me,' continued William.

'I'm sure of it,' replied Marion, 'it's in your system.'

She seemed in a most contrary mood that evening. For instance, William
had remarked quite nicely and affably that he considered smoking
pernicious for women. He said his mother had always declared it was,
and he thought they were better without it. Whereupon Marion, who
dislikes the weed as a general rule, immediately got up, took a
cigarette from the box on the table and asked William for a light.

'I suppose I'm shocking you terribly,' she remarked to him.

[Illustration: 'I suppose I'm shocking you terribly.']

'I don't think there's anything you could do that would shock me now,'
he replied. It was rather a peculiar retort, especially as he laid a
faint accent on the 'you.' Evidently he wished to have his revenge for
what she had said to him at dinner.

'I smoke even in bed,' said Marion, regarding him steadily. I was at a
loss to understand why she told this deliberate falsehood.

'So do I,' said William calmly.

'I smoke in the bath,' continued Marion.

'By Jove, so do I,' said William, looking at her with a new interest.
'But don't you find it rather awkward when you're washing your back?'

Marion looked rather scandalized, as though she considered William's