ern urgency,
LUBBOCK may win where a Hercules fails.
If we now hunt, upon public emergency,
Stymphalian Birds, 'tis with salt for their tails!

* * * * *

"YE GODS, WHAT A TERRIBLE TWIST!"

Statistics are sweet things, and full of startling surprises. Like the
Frenchman in "_Killaloe_" "you never know what they'll be up to next."
Here, for instance, is a "statement showing the decrease in price in
the United States of many articles within the past ten years _largely
consumed_ by the agricultural community." And among these "many
articles" "largely consumed," are "mowing machines, barb fence-wire,
horseshoes, forks, wire-cloth, slop-buckets, wheelbarrows, and
putty." No wonder dyspepsia is the national disease in America. Fancy
"consuming" French staples, pie-plates (though _they_ sound almost
edible), and putty!!! The ostrich is supposed to be capable of
digesting such dainties as broken bottles, and tenpenny nails, but
that voracious fowl is evidently not "in it" with the "Agricultural
community" of America.

* * * * *

ODD.--A Correspondent says he found this advertisement in the
_Guardian_:--

RECTOR of S. Michael's, Lichfield, requires help of a
LAY-READER. Visiting, S.-school, cottage services, ass. in
choir, &c. Good salary.

The explanation, we believe, is, that "ass." is the abbreviated form
of "assisting." The Rector had better have the unabbreviated assistant
in choir, particularly if he be already short of choristers; unless
the Rector should be also Vicar of Bray, in which case the "ass."
could be transferred from Lichfield to the more appropriate living.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "HERCULES (COUNTY) CONCILIANS."

"The Special Committee on Water Supply, appointed by the London County
Council, said, in their Report, 'Before entering upon the inquiry,
the Committee thought it would be desirable to approach the Water
Companies with a view to ascertaining whether it would be possible
for the Companies and the Council to make some provisional agreement
as to the terms upon which the Companies' Water undertakings should
be transferred to the Council, if Parliament gave the necessary
authority.'"--_The Times' Report_.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: MOSSOO IN EGYPT.

_Mr. Punch_ (_to French Guardian of Egyptian Monuments_). "COME, I
SAY, SIR! DO YOU CALL TH