th, and encouraged a diffidence, which I long to have
removed; have hesitated upon the plea, that I would wait and see
whether the work was genuine or no. O my Saviour forgive, and
condescend to teach one of the dullest scholars in Thy school.--Have
found the five o'clock prayer-meetings very profitable, and cannot
be thankful enough that I have health to go. At the prayer-leaders'
Lovefeast, said I could give up all for God, but have since asked
myself, Is this true? Lord, Thou knowest it is the desire of my heart
to give myself to Thee without reserve: accept the offering. I feel
Thee now pouring in Thy ineffable peace. My soul has but one object,
inward and outward holiness. O make me quite clear.--The intercourse
is open between my soul and God, but yet I have had to struggle for
it. O save me fully. This is what I want. Last Tuesday I felt I could
not doubt. Stamp me, Saviour, with Thy seal, and keep me ever Thine. I
again met Mrs. G.'s class. I feel myself more fit to sit at their feet
and be taught; but O Thou, who usedst clay to open the eyes of the
blind, use me for Thy glory.--Some keen things uttered by a relative
have wounded me to the quick. I feel innocent, yet, Lord, how little
I can hear! Give me the love that hopeth all things, endureth
all things, which rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the
truth.--Kirkby. I am reading Fletcher's Life. How it excites holy
desire! My earnest aspiration is after perfect love. When shall it
once be? Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.--We went to Ribstone to
see Mrs. R. but did not pray at the close of the visit; my mind was
wounded on this account. The Lord pardon all my offences.--Cousin and
I found it good to pour out our souls before God, alone. At first my
mind felt hard; but by and by, the veil was drawn aside, and I enjoyed
a sweet manifestation of the Lord;--a settled peace but no overflowing
joy. My earnest wish is to be quite clear, for I am more than ever
convinced of the reality of the blessing. The cleansing power of God
puts us in a capacity to 'grow in grace,' and live to the glory
of God.--We walked to Barrowby, and took tea with Miss H. She is a
friendly girl, possessing the advantage of a polite education, but
wants the main accomplishment--vital godliness: she wept while I
talked with her. O that it may not pass away as the morning cloud! On
our return we had a blessed meeting with our God. I felt the power
to cast myself by faith upon the Lord; bu