As all domestics are excluded my sanctum, of course I am obliged to "do
for myself," and this I prefer to being "done for," or having my room "set
to rights," according to their notions of neatness; my feelings on this
point are exactly those of Scott's _Antiquary_; I therefore "do for
myself," and consequently, it follows I must light my own fire. Than on
the morning I have mentioned, the "grand agent" of the chemist was never
more required. The air bit shrewdly, and it was "bitter cold" upon
entering the sanctum, although I had not quitted it many hours, having
watched the "old year out and the new year in," and then taken a short
nap; yet Jack Frost had been active during my absence, and cooled down the
air of the sanctum some degrees below the freezing point, at the same time
coating the window panes with his beautiful crystalline figures. The dark
walls did look most awful, seen through the dun yellow light of the fog,
which met my view upon drawing aside the cabalistically hung curtains. I
cast a look at the Rumford grate; its black cold bars "grinned most
horrible and ghastly." A sympathy was instantly established between them
and my nasal organ, for I found a drop of pure crystal pendant from its
extremity. Here, thought I, is an admirable question for "_The Plain Why
and Because_." _Why_ does a drop of water hang from the nose on a frosty
morning? Because the natural heat of the body sends up vapour into the
head, and that being exposed most to cold, the vapour condenses, and a
drop of water runs from the nostril, as it would do from the head of a
still. Upon looking at anything very cold, sympathy excites the same
action. This "Why and Because" was succeeded by another--Why does my
fire-grate grin so coldly? Because you will not be "done for," else Eliza
could have raised a flame there for you an hour ago. The truth of this
reply was so forcible that I resolved to "do for myself" without delay,
and evolve the "grand agent." I went to the door, expecting to see my
usual supply of fuel; none was to be found. What means this? said I, and
was about to make my wants known, but changed my intent as quickly, and
being a little excited by such neglect, determined not to be dependent
upon the domestics, but make a fire of my own. Now then for the materials.
Paper, as all persons know, who have "lit their own fires," is the
foundation; it was also mine: sundry letters in reply to sundry
unsuccessful applications writte