oo.

"We became as intimate as the reserve of my habits ever suffered me to
become with any one, but you. He was many years older than me--had seen
a great deal of the world--had mixed much in its best societies, and, at
that time, whatever was the grossierete of his mind, had little of the
coarseness of manner which very soon afterwards distinguished him;
evil communication works rapidly in its results. Our acquaintance was,
therefore, natural enough, especially when it is considered that my
purse was entirely at his disposal--for borrowing is twice blessed, in
him that takes and him that gives--the receiver becomes complaisant and
conceding, and the lender thinks favourably of one he has obliged.

"We parted at Spa, under a mutual promise to write. I forget if this
promise was kept--probably not; we were not, however, the worse friends
for being bad correspondents. I continued my travels for about another
year; I then returned to England, the same melancholy and dreaming
enthusiast as before. It is true that we are the creatures of
circumstances; but circumstances are also, in a great measure, the
creatures of us. I mean, they receive their colour from the previous
bent of our own minds; what raises one would depress another, and what
vitiates my neighbour might correct me. Thus the experience of the
world makes some persons more worldly--others more abstracted, and the
indulgence of the senses becomes a violence to one mind, and a second
nature to another. As for me, I had tasted all the pleasures youth and
opulence can purchase, and was more averse to them than ever. I had
mixed with many varieties of men--I was still more rivetted to the
monotony of self.

"I cannot hope, while I mention these peculiarities, that I am a very
uncommon character; I believe the present age has produced many such.
Some time hence, it will be a curious inquiry to ascertain the causes
of that acute and sensitive morbidity of mind, which has been, and still
is, so epidemic a disease. You know me well enough to believe, that I am
not fond of the cant of assuming an artificial character, or of creating
a fictitious interest; and I am far from wishing to impose upon you
a malady of constitution for a dignity of mind. You must pardon my
prolixity. I own that it is very painful to me to come to the main part
of my confessions, and I am endeavouring to prepare myself by lingering
over the prelude."

Glanville paused here for a few moments.