irt floor. I entered and cast myself upon a rude nail keg,
allowing my feet to remain suspended at the lower end of my legs, an
attitude which I frequently affect when fatigued.

[Illustration]

The place was not occupied at the time I entered, though there was a
fire and things looked as though the owner had not been long absent. It
seemed to be a kind of laboratory, for I could see here and there the
earmarks of the chemist. I feared at first that it was a bomb factory,
but as I could not see any of these implements in a perfected state I
decided that it was safe and waited for the owner to arrive.

After a time I heard a low guttural footstep approaching up the hill. I
went to the door and exclaimed to the proprietor as he came, "Merry
Christmas, Colonel."

"Merry Christmas be d----d!" said he in the same bantering tone. "What
in three dashes, two hyphens and an astonisher do you want here, you
double-dashed and double-blanketed blank to dash and return!!"

The wording here is my own, but it gives an idea of the way the
conversation was drifting. You can see by his manner that literary
people are not alone in being surly, irritable and unreasonable.

So I humored him and spoke kindly to him and smoothed down his ruffled
plumage with my gay badinage, for he wore a shawl and you can never tell
whether a man wearing a shawl is armed or not. I give herewith a view of
this chemist as he appeared on the morning I met him.

It will be noticed that he was a man about medium height with clear-cut
features and hair and retreating brisket. His hair was dark and hung in
great waves which seemed to have caught the sunlight and retained it
together with a great many other atmospheric phenomena. He wore a straw
hat, such as I once saw Horace Greeley catch grasshoppers in, on the
banks of the Kinnickinnick, just before he caught a small trout.

I spent some time with him watching him as he made his various
experiments. Finally, he showed me a new beverage that he had been
engaged in perfecting. It was inclosed in a dark brown stone receptacle
and was held in place by a common corn-cob stopper. I took some of it
in order to show that I confided in him. I do not remember anything else
distinctly. The fumes of this drink went at once to my brain, where it
had what might be termed a complete walkover.

I now have no hesitation in saying that the fluid must have been
alcoholic in its nature, for when I regained my consciousness