seen his face again and was ready to die";
And she wanted him to promise, when she was in her tomb,
He would only visit that by the light of the moon.

But he never returned at the close of the war,
And the boys that got back said he hadn't the heart;
But he got a position in a powder-mill, and said
He hoped to meet the doom that his country denied.

"Oh, Wilhelmina, Come Back!"

PERSONAL--Will the young woman who edited the gravy department and
corrected proof at our pie foundry for two days and then jumped the
game on the evening that we were to have our clergyman to dine with
us, please come back, or write to 32 Park Row, saying where she
left the crackers and cheese?

[Illustration]

Come back, Wilhelmina, and be our little sunbeam once more. Come back
and cluster around our hearthstone at so much per cluster.

If you think best we will quit having company at the house, especially
people who do not belong to your set.

We will also strive, oh, so hard, to make it pleasanter for you in every
way. If we had known four or five years ago that children were
offensive to you, it would have been different. But it is too late now.
All we can do is to shut them up in a barn and feed them through a
knot-hole. If they shriek loud enough to give pain to your throbbing
brow, let no one know and we will overcome any false sentiment we may
feel towards them and send them to the Tombs.

Since you went away we can see how wicked and selfish we were and how
little we considered your comfort. We miss your glad smile, also your
Tennessee marble cake and your slat pie. We have learned a valuable
lesson since you went away, and it is that the blame should not have
rested on one alone. It should have been divided equally, leaving me to
bear half of it and my wife the other half.

Where we erred was in dividing up the blame on the basis of tenderloin
steak or peach cobbler, compelling you to bear half of it yourself. That
will not work, Wilhelmina. Blame and preserves do not divide on the same
basis. We are now in favor of what may be called a sliding scale. We
think you will like this better.

We also made a grave mistake in the matter of nights out. While young, I
formed the wicked and pernicious habit of having nights out myself. I
panted for the night air and would go a long distance and stay out a
long time to get enough of it for a mess and then bring it home