ready taken in, and there was a hollow boom
through the whole ship whenever the coal-heavers stamped on the deck
with their heavy boots.
The sun, the light, and the salt breath from the sea, all this busy,
merry life pulled me together a bit, and caused my blood to run
lustily. Suddenly it entered my head that I could work at a few scenes
of my drama whilst I sat here, and I took my papers out of my pocket.
I tried to place a speech into a monk's mouth--a speech that ought to
swell with pride and intolerance, but it was of no use; so I skipped
over the monk and tried to work out an oration--the Deemster's oration
to the violator of the Temple,--and I wrote half-a-page of this
oration, upon which I stopped. The right local colour would not tinge
my words, the bustle about me, the shanties, the noise of the gangways,
and the ceaseless rattle of the iron chains, fitted in so little with
the atmosphere of the musty air of the dim Middle Ages, that was to
envelop my drama as with a mist.
I bundled my papers together and got up.
All the same, I got into a happy vein--a grand vein,--and I felt
convinced that I could effect something if all went well.
If I only had a place to go to. I thought over it--stopped right there
in the street and pondered, but I could not bring to mind a single
quiet spot in the town where I could seat myself for an hour. There was
no other way open; I would have to go back to the lodging-house in
Vaterland. I shrank at the thought of it, and I told myself all the
while that it would not do. I went ahead all the same, and approached
nearer and nearer to the forbidden spot. Of course it was wretched. I
admitted to myself that it was degrading--downright degrading, but
there was no help for it. I was not in the least proud; I dared make
the assertion roundly, that I was one of the least arrogant beings up
to date. I went ahead.
I pulled up at the door and weighed it over once more. Yes, no matter
what the result was, I would have to dare it. After all said and done,
what a bagatelle to make such a fuss about. For the first it was only a
matter of a couple of hours; for the second, the Lord forbid that I
should ever seek refuge in such a house again. I entered the yard. Even
whilst I was crossing the uneven stones I was irresolute, and almost
turned round at the very door. I clenched my teeth. No! no pride! At
the worst I could excuse myself by saying I had come to say good-bye,
to make a pro
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