came at once possessed by the unreasonable feeling
that I was the object of her visit. At last I was almost on the point
of addressing her, of asking her if she was looking for any one, if she
needed my assistance in any way, or if I might accompany her home.
Badly dressed, as I unfortunately was, I might protect her through the
dark streets; but I had an undefined fear that it perhaps might cost me
something; a glass of wine, or a drive, and I had no money left at all.
My distressingly empty pockets acted in a far too depressing way upon
me, and I had not even the courage to scrutinize her sharply as I
passed her by. Hunger had once more taken up its abode in my breast,
and I had not tasted food since yesterday evening. This, 'tis true, was
not a long period; I had often been able to hold out for a couple of
days at a time, but latterly I had commenced to fall off seriously; I
could not go hungry one quarter as well as I used to do. A single day
made me feel dazed, and I suffered from perpetual retching the moment I
tasted water. Added to this was the fact that I lay and shivered all
night, lay fully dressed as I stood and walked in the daytime, lay blue
with cold, lay and froze every night with fits of icy shivering, and
grew stiff during my sleep. The old blanket could not keep out the
draughts, and I woke in the mornings with my nose stopped by the sharp
outside frosty air which forced its way into the dilapidated room.

I go down the street and think over what I am to do to keep myself
alive until I get my next article finished. If I only had a candle I
would try to fag on through the night; it would only take a couple of
hours if I once warmed to my work, and then tomorrow I could call on
the "commandor."

I go without further ado into the Opland Cafe and look for my young
acquaintance in the bank, in order to procure a penny for a candle. I
passed unhindered through all the rooms; I passed a dozen tables at
which men sat chatting, eating, and drinking; I passed into the back of
the cafe, ay, even into the red alcove, without succeeding in finding
my man.

Crestfallen and annoyed I dragged myself out again into the street and
took the direction to the Palace.

Wasn't it now the very hottest eternal devil existing to think that my
hardships never would come to an end! Taking long, furious strides,
with the collar of my coat hunched savagely up round my ears, and my
hands thrust in my breeches pockets, I strod