rt, one of
the professors acknowledges to be vapouring and bragging!--a seasoning
in this art, as well as in others. A cook ought never to come
unaccompanied by all the pomp and parade of the kitchen: with a scurvy
appearance, he will be turned away at sight; for all have eyes, but few
only understanding.[125]

Another occult part of this profound mystery, besides vapouring,
consisted, it seems, in filching. Such is the counsel of a patriarch to
an apprentice! a precept which contains a truth for all ages of cookery.

Carian! time well thy ambidextrous part,
Nor always filch. It was but yesterday,
Blundering, they nearly caught thee in the fact;
None of thy balls had livers, and the guests,
In horror, pierced their airy emptiness.
Not even the brains were there, thou brainless hound!
If thou art hired among the middling class,
Who pay thee freely, be thou honourable!
But for this day, where now we go to cook,
E'en cut the master's throat for all I care;
"A word to th' wise," and show thyself my scholar!
There thou mayst filch and revel; all may yield
Some secret profit to thy sharking hand.
'Tis an old miser gives a sordid dinner,
And weeps o'er every sparing dish at table;
Then if I do not find thou dost devour
All thou canst touch, e'en to the very coals,
I will disown thee! Lo! old Skin-flint comes;
In his dry eyes what parsimony stares!

These cooks of the ancients, who appear to have been hired for a grand
dinner, carried their art to the most whimsical perfection. They were so
dexterous as to be able to serve up a whole pig boiled on one side, and
roasted on the other. The cook who performed this feat defies his guests
to detect the place where the knife had separated the animal, or how it
was contrived to stuff the belly with an olio composed of thrushes and
other birds, slices of the matrices of a sow, the yolks of eggs, the
bellies of hens with their soft eggs flavoured with a rich juice, and
minced meats highly spiced. When this cook is entreated to explain his
secret art, he solemnly swears by the manes of those who braved all the
dangers of the plain of Marathon, and combated at sea at Salamis, that
he will not reveal the secret that year. But of an incident so
triumphant in the annals of the gastric art, our philosopher would not
deprive posterity of the knowledge. The animal had been bled to death by
a wound under the shoul