ll, Astronomia.

_Ast._ What shall I, Geographus?

_Geog._ Kisse!

_Ast._ What, in spite of my teeth!

_Geog._ No, not so! I hope you do not use to kisse with your teeth.

_Ast._ Marry, and I hope I do not use to kisse without them.

_Geog._ Ay, but my fine wit-catcher, I mean you do not show your teeth
when you kisse."

He then kisses her, as he says, in the different manners of a French,
Spanish and Dutch kiss. He wants to take off the zone of Astronomia. She
begs he would not fondle her like an elephant as he is; and Geographus
says again, "Won't you then?"

_Ast._ Won't I what?

_Geo._ Be kinde?

_Ast._ Be kinde! How?"

Fortunately Geographus is here interrupted by Astronomia's mother
Physica. This dialogue is a specimen of the whole piece: very flat, and
very gross. Yet the piece is still curious,--not only for its absurdity,
but for that sort of ingenuity, which so whimsically contrived to bring
together the different arts; this pedantic writer, however, owes more to
the subject, than the subject derived from him; without wit or humour,
he has at times an extravagance of invention. As for
instance,--Geographus and his man Phantastes describe to Poeta the lying
wonders they pretend to have witnessed; and this is one:--

"_Phan._ Sir, we met with a traveller that could speak six languages at
the same instant.

_Poeta_. How? at the same instant, that's impossible!

_Phan._ Nay, sir, the actuality of the performance puts it beyond all
contradiction. With his tongue he'd so vowel you out as smooth _Italian_
as any man breathing; with his eye he would sparkle forth the proud
_Spanish_; with his nose blow out most robustious _Dutch_; the creaking
of his high-heeled shoe would articulate exact _Polonian_; the knocking
of his shinbone feminine _French_; and his belly would grumble most pure
and scholar-like _Hungary_."

This, though extravagant without fancy, is not the worst part of the
absurd humour which runs through this pedantic comedy.

The classical reader may perhaps be amused by the following strange
conceits. Poeta, who was in love with Historia, capriciously falls in
love with Astronomia, and thus compares his mistress:--

Her _brow_ is like a brave _heroic_ line
That does a sacred majestie inshrine;
Her _nose, Phaleuciake_-like, in comely sort,
Ends in a _Trochie_, or a long and short.
Her _mouth_ is like a pretty _Dimeter_;
Her _eie-brows_ like a little-longer _T