an.
He is like a workman who has not the tools necessary for the practice of
his craft, or like a trained singer whose voice cannot be heard through
the noise of those who interrupt him. I wish to repay a kindness: after
this there still remains something for me to do, not in order that I may
become grateful, but that I may discharge my debt; for, in many cases,
he who returns a kindness is ungrateful for it, and he who does not
return it is grateful. Like all other virtues, the whole value of
gratitude lies in the spirit in which it is done; so, if this man's
purpose be loyal, any shortcomings on his part are due not to himself,
but to fortune. A man who is silent may, nevertheless, be eloquent; his
hands may be folded or even bound, and he may yet be strong; just as
a pilot is a pilot even when upon dry land, because his knowledge
is complete, and there is nothing wanting to it, though there may be
obstacles which prevent his making use of it. In the same way, a man is
grateful who only wishes to be so, and who has no one but himself who
can bear witness to his frame of mind. I will go even further than
this: a man sometimes is grateful when he appears to be ungrateful, when
ill-judging report has declared him to be so. Such a man can look
to nothing but his own conscience, which can please him even when
overwhelmed by calumny, which contradicts the mob and common rumour,
relies only upon itself, and though it beholds a vast crowd of the other
way of thinking opposed to it, does not count heads, but wins by its own
vote alone. Should it see its own good faith meet with the punishment
due to treachery, it will not descend from its pedestal, and will remain
superior to its punishment. "I have," it says, "what I wished, what I
strove for. I do not regret it, nor shall I do so; nor shall fortune,
however unjust she may be, ever hear me say, 'What did I want? What now
is the use of having meant well?'" A good conscience is of value on
the rack, or in the fire; though fire be applied to each of our limbs,
gradually encircle our living bodies, and burst our heart, yet if our
heart be filled with a good conscience, it will rejoice in the fire
which will make its good faith shine before the world.

XXII. Now let that question also which has been already stated be again
brought forward; Why is it that we should wish to be grateful when we
are dying, that we should carefully weigh the various services rendered
us by different in