. You'll change your tone, General, when you
hear what has happened to me.

NAPOLEON. Nothing has happened to you, sir: you are alive and not
disabled. Where are the papers entrusted to you?

LIEUTENANT. Nothing! Nothing!! Oho! Well, we'll see. (Posing himself to
overwhelm Napoleon with his news.) He swore eternal brotherhood with
me. Was that nothing? He said my eyes reminded him of his sister's
eyes. Was that nothing? He cried--actually cried--over the story of my
separation from Angelica. Was that nothing? He paid for both bottles of
wine, though he only ate bread and grapes himself. Perhaps you call
that nothing! He gave me his pistols and his horse and his
despatches--most important despatches--and let me go away with them.
(Triumphantly, seeing that he has reduced Napoleon to blank
stupefaction.) Was THAT nothing?

NAPOLEON (enfeebled by astonishment). What did he do that for?

LIEUTENANT (as if the reason were obvious). To show his confidence in
me. (Napoleon's jaw does not exactly drop; but its hinges become
nerveless. The Lieutenant proceeds with honest indignation.) And I was
worthy of his confidence: I brought them all back honorably. But would
you believe it?--when I trusted him with MY pistols, and MY horse, and
MY despatches--

NAPOLEON (enraged). What the devil did you do that for?

LIEUTENANT. Why, to show my confidence in him, of course. And he
betrayed it--abused it--never came back. The thief! the swindler! the
heartless, treacherous little blackguard! You call that nothing, I
suppose. But look here, General: (again resorting to the table with his
fist for greater emphasis) YOU may put up with this outrage from the
Austrians if you like; but speaking for myself personally, I tell you
that if ever I catch--

NAPOLEON (turning on his heel in disgust and irritably resuming his
march to and fro). Yes: you have said that more than once already.

LIEUTENANT (excitedly). More than once! I'll say it fifty times; and
what's more, I'll do it. You'll see, General. I'll show my confidence
in him, so I will. I'll--

NAPOLEON. Yes, yes, sir: no doubt you will. What kind of man was he?

LIEUTENANT. Well, I should think you ought to be able to tell from his
conduct the sort of man he was.

NAPOLEON. Psh! What was he like?

LIEUTENANT. Like! He's like--well, you ought to have just seen the
fellow: that will give you a notion of what he was like. He won't be
like it five minutes after I catch him; for I