before him like a
schoolmaster with a pupil.) Shall I take you away with me and make a
man of you?

GIUSEPPE (shaking his head rapidly and repeatedly). No, thank you,
General. All my life long people have wanted to make a man of me. When
I was a boy, our good priest wanted to make a man of me by teaching me
to read and write. Then the organist at Melegnano wanted to make a man
of me by teaching me to read music. The recruiting sergeant would have
made a man of me if I had been a few inches taller. But it always meant
making me work; and I am too lazy for that, thank Heaven! So I taught
myself to cook and became an innkeeper; and now I keep servants to do
the work, and have nothing to do myself except talk, which suits me
perfectly.

NAPOLEON (looking at him thoughtfully). You are satisfied?

GIUSEPPE (with cheerful conviction). Quite, excellency.

NAPOLEON. And you have no devouring devil inside you who must be fed
with action and victory--gorged with them night and day--who makes you
pay, with the sweat of your brain and body, weeks of Herculean toil for
ten minutes of enjoyment--who is at once your slave and your tyrant,
your genius and your doom--who brings you a crown in one hand and the
oar of a galley slave in the other--who shows you all the kingdoms of
the earth and offers to make you their master on condition that you
become their servant!--have you nothing of that in you?

GIUSEPPE. Nothing of it! Oh, I assure you, excellency, MY devouring
devil is far worse than that. He offers me no crowns and kingdoms: he
expects to get everything for nothing--sausages, omelettes, grapes,
cheese, polenta, wine--three times a day, excellency: nothing less will
content him.

LIEUTENANT. Come, drop it, Giuseppe: you're making me feel hungry again.

(Giuseppe, with an apologetic shrug, retires from the conversation, and
busies himself at the table, dusting it, setting the map straight, and
replacing Napoleon's chair, which the lady has pushed back.)

NAPOLEON (turning to the lieutenant with sardonic ceremony). I hope _I_
have not been making you feel ambitious.

LIEUTENANT. Not at all: I don't fly so high. Besides: I'm better as I
am: men like me are wanted in the army just now. The fact is, the
Revolution was all very well for civilians; but it won't work in the
army. You know what soldiers are, General: they WILL have men of family
for their officers. A subaltern must be a gentleman, because he's so
much in contact