aid
the other, "you have but done her justice, as by your own reckoning
she must be a very valuable woman."

GARRICK AND THE GUINEA

Foote and Garrick, supping together at the Bedford, the former in
pulling out his purse to pay the reckoning dropped a guinea, which
rolled in such a direction that they could not readily find it.

"Where the deuce," says Foote, "can it be gone to?"

"Gone to the Devil, I suppose," said Garrick.

"Well said, David; you are always what I took you for, ever contriving
to make a guinea go farther than any other man."

DR. PAUL HIFFERMAN

Paul was fond of laying, or rather offering, wagers. One day in the
heat of argument he cried out, "I'll lay my head you are wrong upon
that point."

"Well," said Foote, "I accept the wager. Any trifle, among friends,
has a value."

FOOTE AND MACKLIN

One night, when Macklin was formally preparing to begin a lecture,
hearing Foote rattling away at the lower end of the room, and thinking
to silence him at once, he called out in his sarcastic manner, "Pray,
young gentleman, do you know what I am going to say?"

"No, sir," said Foote quickly: "do you?"

BARON NEWMAN

This celebrated gambler (well known about town thirty years ago by the
title of the left-handed Baron), being detected in the rooms at Bath
in the act of secreting a card, the company in the warmth of their
resentment threw him out of the window of a one-pair-of-stairs room,
where they were playing. The Baron, meeting Foote some time afterward,
loudly complained of this usage, and asked him what he should do to
repair his injured honor.

"Do?" said the wit; "why, 'tis a plain case: never play so high again
as long as you live."

MRS. ABINGTON

When Mrs. Abington returned from her very first successful trip to
Ireland, Foote wished to engage her for his summer theatre; but in the
mean time Garrick secured her for Drury Lane. Foote, on hearing this,
asked her why she gave Garrick the preference.

"I don't know how it was," said she: "he talked me over by telling me
that he would make me immortal, so that I did not know how to refuse
him."

"Oh! did he so? Then I'll soon outbid him that way; for come to me and
I will give you two pounds a week more, and charge you nothing for
immortality."

GARLIC-EATERS

Laughing at the imbecilities of a common friend one day, somebody
observed, "It was very surprising; and Tom D---- knew him very well,
and thought him far fro