d to it; for he has brought me into such a state of heart
that I only desire to please him in this matter. Moreover, hitherto I
have not spoken about this thing even to my beloved wife, the sharer of
my joys and sorrows and labors for more than twenty years; nor is it
likely that I shall do so for some time to come; for I prefer quietly
waiting on the Lord, without conversing on this subject, in order that
thus I may be kept the more easily, by his blessing, from being
influenced by things from without. The burden of my prayer concerning
this matter is, that the Lord would not allow me to make a mistake, and
that he would teach me his will. As to outward things, I have had
nothing to encourage me during these six days, but the very reverse; for
the income for the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution for Home and Abroad has been unusually small, only six
pounds fourteen shillings altogether, while the outgoings have been one
hundred and thirty-three pounds eleven shillings sevenpence. But all
this would not weigh the least with me, could I be quite sure that the
Lord would have me to go forward.

The especial burden of my prayer, therefore, is, that God would be
pleased to teach me his will. My mind has also been especially pondering
how I could know his will satisfactorily concerning this particular.
Sure I am that I shall be taught. I therefore desire to patiently wait
for the Lord's time, when he shall be pleased to shine on my path
concerning this point.

Dec. 26. Fifteen days have elapsed since I wrote the preceding
paragraph. Every day since then I have continued to pray about this
matter, and that with a goodly measure of earnestness, by the help of
God. There has passed away scarcely an hour during these days in which,
whilst awake, this matter has not been more or less before me; but all
without even a shadow of excitement. I converse with no one about it.
Hitherto have I not even done so with my dear wife. From this I refrain
still, and deal with God alone about the matter, in order that no
outward influence and no outward excitement may keep me from attaining
unto a clear discovery of his will. I have the fullest and most peaceful
assurance that he will clearly show me his will. This evening I have had
again an especial solemn season for prayer, to seek to know the will of
God. But whilst I continue to entreat and beseech the Lord that he would
not allow me to be deluded in this business, I