indirectly, about the
orphans. 3. Am I not undertaking too much for my bodily strength and my
mental powers, by thinking about another Orphan House? 4. Am I not going
beyond the measure of my faith in thinking about enlarging the work so
as to double or treble it? 5. Is not this a delusion of Satan, an
attempt to cast me down altogether from my sphere of usefulness, by
making me to go beyond my measure? 6. Is it not also, perhaps, a snare
to puff me up, in attempting to build a very large Orphan House?

Under these circumstances I can only pray that the Lord in his tender
mercy would not allow Satan to gain an advantage over me. By the grace
of God my heart says,--Lord, if I could be sure that it is thy will that
I should go forward in this matter, I would do so cheerfully; and, on
the other hand, if I could be sure that these are vain, foolish, proud
thoughts, that they are not from thee, I would, by thy grace, hate them,
and entirely put them aside.

My hope is in God; he will help me and teach me. Judging, however, from
his former dealings with me, it would not be a strange thing to me, nor
surprising, if he called me to labor yet still more largely in this way.

The thoughts about enlarging the orphan work have not arisen on account
of an abundance of money having lately come in; for I have had of late
to wait for about seven weeks upon God, whilst little, very little
comparatively, came in, _i. e._ about four times as much was going out
as came in; and, had not the Lord previously sent me large sums, we
should have been distressed indeed.

Lord, how can thy servant know thy will in this matter? Wilt thou be
pleased to teach him?

Dec. 11. During the last six days, since writing the above, I have been,
day after day, waiting upon God concerning this matter. It has generally
been more or less all the day on my heart. When I have been awaking at
night, it has not been far from my thoughts. Yet all this without the
least excitement. I am perfectly calm and quiet respecting it. My soul
would be rejoiced to go forward in this service, could I be sure that
the Lord would have me to do so; for then, notwithstanding the
numberless difficulties, all would be well, and his name would be
magnified.

On the other hand, were I assured that the Lord would have me to be
satisfied with my present sphere of service, and that I should not pray
about enlarging the work, by his grace I could, _without an effort_,
cheerfully yiel