le that killed me. I had never
spoken to a lord before. Oh, me! what a fool, what a beast I have
been!" And then she burst out into tears. Mrs. Robarts, to tell the
truth, could hardly understand poor Lucy's ailment. It was evident
enough that her misery was real; but yet she spoke of herself and her
sufferings with so much irony, with so near an approach to joking,
that it was very hard to tell how far she was in earnest. Lucy, too,
was so much given to a species of badinage which Mrs. Robarts did
not always quite understand, that the latter was afraid sometimes to
speak out what came uppermost to her tongue. But now that Lucy was
absolutely in tears, and was almost breathless with excitement, she
could not remain silent any longer. "Dearest Lucy, pray do not speak
in that way; it will all come right. Things always do come right when
no one has acted wrongly."

"Yes, when nobody has done wrongly. That's what papa used to call
begging the question. But I'll tell you what, Fanny; I will not be
beaten. I will either kill myself or get through it. I am so heartily
self-ashamed that I owe it to myself to fight the battle out."

"To fight what battle, dearest?"

"This battle. Here, now, at the present moment I could not meet Lord
Lufton. I should have to run like a scared fowl if he were to show
himself within the gate; and I should not dare to go out of the
house, if I knew that he was in the parish."

"I don't see that, for I am sure you have not betrayed yourself."

"Well, no; as for myself, I believe I have done the lying and the
hypocrisy pretty well. But, dearest Fanny, you don't know half; and
you cannot and must not know."

"But I thought you said there had been nothing whatever between you."

"Did I? Well, to you I have not said a word that was not true. I said
that he had spoken nothing that it was wrong for him to say. It could
not be wrong-- But never mind. I'll tell you what I mean to do. I
have been thinking of it for the last week--only I shall have to tell
Mark."

"If I were you I would tell him all."

"What, Mark! If you do, Fanny, I'll never, never, never speak to you
again. Would you--when I have given you all my heart in true sisterly
love?" Mrs. Robarts had to explain that she had not proposed to
tell anything to Mark herself, and was persuaded, moreover, to give
a solemn promise that she would not tell anything to him unless
specially authorized to do so.

"I'll go into a home, I think," co