en. He crept
away slowly, saying that he was the most wretched soul alive. For a
minute I believed him, and could almost have called him back; but
no, Fanny, do not think that I am over proud, or conceited about my
conquest. He had not reached the gate before he was thanking God for
his escape."

"That I do not believe."

"But I do; and I thought of Lady Lufton too. How could I bear that
she should scorn me, and accuse me of stealing her son's heart? I
know that it is better as it is; but tell me--is a falsehood always
wrong, or can it be possible that the end should justify the means?
Ought I to have told him the truth, and to have let him know that I
could almost kiss the ground on which he stood?"

This was a question for the doctors which Mrs. Robarts would not take
upon herself to answer. She would not make that falsehood matter of
accusation, but neither would she pronounce for it any absolution. In
that matter Lucy must regulate her own conscience.

"And what shall I do next?" said Lucy, still speaking in a tone that
was half tragic and half jeering.

"Do?" said Mrs. Robarts.

"Yes, something must be done. If I were a man I should go to
Switzerland, of course; or, as the case is a bad one, perhaps as far
as Hungary. What is it that girls do? they don't die nowadays, I
believe."

"Lucy, I do not believe that you care for him one jot. If you were in
love you would not speak of it like that."

"There, there. That's my only hope. If I could laugh at myself till
it had become incredible to you, I also, by degrees, should cease to
believe that I had cared for him. But, Fanny, it is very hard. If I
were to starve, and rise before daybreak, and pinch myself, or do
some nasty work,--clean the pots and pans and the candlesticks; that
I think would do the most good. I have got a piece of sack-cloth, and
I mean to wear that, when I have made it up."

"You are joking now, Lucy, I know."

"No, by my word; not in the spirit of what I am saying. How shall
I act upon my heart, if I do not do it through the blood and the
flesh?"

"Do you not pray that God will give you strength to bear these
troubles?"

"But how is one to word one's prayer, or how even to word one's
wishes? I do not know what is the wrong that I have done. I say it
boldly; in this matter I cannot see my own fault. I have simply found
that I have been a fool."

It was now quite dark in the room, or would have been so to any one
entering it afres