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well appreciated. A patrol was sent over to Taungs, and we watched the squadron dancing away until a fold of the green plain hid them. Soon afterwards we came into camp. The paramount question at such a moment is always: "What is the water like?" Last night it was very bad, and there was no officer in charge of the watering when the rear of the column came in. The only water was a small, almost stagnant river, and the men were into it, bathing, as soon as they arrived. Then the horses and mules were watered, and stirred up the mud with their feet; and then we sent for drinking water. Of course one has it boiled, but even so----. While we were having dinner the patrol returned from Taungs, having cut the wire north and south and destroyed the instrument. They found the village empty except for women. Encounters with insurgents are often amusing, although amongst them they have so far afforded natives of all our three kingdoms reason for shame. Here is something quite typical. SCENE: _The veldt road. Enter very slowly from the north, an ox-waggon. Enter from the south, a cloud of dust, out of which emerges the Mounted Advance Guard of the column. They meet, and halt._ TROOPER _in charge of ox-waggon, saluting and pointing with his thumb within_: "Come to report, sir. Found this woman trekkin' along, and won't give no account of herself." _Commanding Officer draws aside tent of waggon and discovers fat and hearty old woman._ C.O.: "Now, my good woman, what have you to say for yourself?" (_No answer._) TROOPER: "Please, sir, she come from that there rebel farm." (_To fat and hearty old woman_) "Now then, missus, tell the Colonel who you are." (_Long silence, during which something seems to be working in the mind of the fat and hearty old woman._) C.O.: "Can anyone speak Dutch? Here, Evans, ask her what she has to say for herself." (_Trooper Evans asks her in fluent Dutch--no answer--question repeated with emphasis._) F. and H.O.W.: "Whethen now, and shure it's Mrs. McGuire Oi am, and bad luck to the whole av ye. Glory be to Goodness, but it's a quare place Oi'd be in if the likes of you was all Oi had to me back, wid all me bits av sticks and the ould hin herself took be the Boers--bad cess to 'em" (_and much more to the same effect, during which the waggon is searched and a couple of Martini rifles found in it, and various other damning evidences, with the result that the waggon is confiscated
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