t ceased to be a singer
And threw away his pen,
Until, with twelve months' training
And six months' hard campaigning,
The lure of paper-staining
Has vanished from his ken.

For now his former crazes
He utterly eschews;
The world on which he gazes
Has lost its hectic hues;
No more a bard crepuscular
Who writes in script minuscular,
He only woos the muscular
And military Muse.

Transformed by contact hourly
With heroes simple-souled,
He looks no longer sourly
On men of normal mould,
But, purged of mental vanity
And erudite inanity,
The clay of his humanity
Is turning fast to gold.

* * * * *

"THE ROAD TO RAGDAD."

_Provincial Paper._

Not even LITTLE WILLIE could think of a better way.

* * * * *

"SECOND-HAND HEARSE Wanted; body must be up to date and
reasonable."

_Bristol Times and Mirror._

And not insist on a brand-new outfit.

* * * * *

WITHOUT PREJUDICE.

[Illustration: Ferdie. "I HOPE I DON'T INTRUDE?"

Tino. "OH, NO! MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. THIS IS LIBERTY HALL."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, May 29th._--When Mr. ANDERSON alleged that a certain firm,
desirous of getting its employes exempted, had "hospitably entertained"
the members of the local tribunal at its works, we felt that we were on
the fringe of a grave scandal. A picture of the tribunal replete with
salmon and champagne rose before the mind's eye. But when we learned
from the Ministerial reply that the refreshment alluded to consisted of
"tea and bread-and-butter" the vision faded away. Those innocent viands
could not connote corruption.

_A propos_ of tribunals, the House learned with delight that the
military representative at Middlesbrough is Mr. HUSTLER HUSTLER.
Obviously the Government have at last discovered "the man of push and
go" for whom they were looking a year ago.

Mr. MCKENNA was a little short-tempered this afternoon. He first
descended heavily upon Mr. SAMUEL SAMUEL, who had suggested that it was
time to issue another War Loan, instead of borrowing so heavily upon
Treasury Bills. The hon. member, he declared, had no right to speak for
that mysterious entity, "the City." When Sir F. BANBURY, who indubitably
has that right, endorsed Mr. SAMUEL'S appeal, Mr. MCKENNA took refuge
under a po