poses.
She sees I'm holding back; and she's puzzled, and unhappy. But how the
deuce is a man to tell her plainly that by an act of pure pluck and
devotion, at the wrong moment, she has practically pushed me deeper
into the pit than I've been yet? In fact, I'm beginning to be afraid
that . . . the damage may be permanent."

Desmond stifled an exclamation of dismay.

"I wonder if you could bring yourself to tell me exactly what you mean
by that?" he said quietly. "Perhaps I have no business to ask; but
unless one goes to the root of a thing it's useless to talk of it at
all."

"I know that. If I hadn't meant to tell you, I shouldn't be in here
now. The fact is . . it's gone a good bit beyond tobacco this last
fortnight." He hesitated; but Desmond made no sign. "Did you never
miss that bottle of chlorodyne you brought me the day I was bowled
over?"

This time Desmond started.

"Good heavens, yes! I had to get a fresh one . . for Honor. But it
never occurred to me . . ."

"It wouldn't. You're not the sort. I emptied it, though, in no time.
But it's poor stuff. It didn't half work. Then, one night--I was mad
with pain, and want of sleep--I got hold of the raw drug, in
pellets--from the bazaar." He shivered at the recollection: "I tell
you, Desmond, it's appalling to feel the foundations of things giving
way. But I've taken it ever since, . . pain or no.--_Now_ do you doubt
the disqualification I spoke of? Personally I don't feel fit to touch
her hand."

The bitterness of conviction in his tone made Desmond lean forward to
get a better sight of him.

"Lenox, old man," he said, almost tenderly, "such exaggerated notions
are all a part of your unsettled nerves.--Smash up your devil's box of
pills; or . . hand it over to me . . if you will . . . ?"

Lenox hesitated; but his face gave no sign of the short sharp struggle
within. "You shall have the thing, if you wish it," he said at length.
"It gives me no pleasure to make a beast of myself. But that doesn't
touch the heart of the difficulty. So long as she's here, I haven't a
chance. If I give up the stuff, I shall go to pieces with headache and
insomnia. That's flat."

"Indeed I think you're mistaken," Desmond spoke with deliberate
lightness. "At all events, I have a suggestion to make that may help
you . . for the moment. I have quite decided that Honor must leave
this, directly she is strong enough to stand the short journey to Sheik
Budee