sliced a bit. However, I chipped on
within about six feet, and was down in four. Gerald took it in three,
but I had a stroke, so I halved. Then the eighth I told you about.

WENTWORTH. Was that where you fell into the pond?

TOMMY. No, no; you're thinking of the fifth, where I topped my drive
into the pond.

WENTWORTH. I knew the pond came into it somewhere. I hoped--I mean I
thought you fell in.

TOMMY. Look here, you _must_ remember the eighth, old chap; that was the
one I did in one. Awful bit of luck.

WENTWORTH. Bit of luck for me too, Tommy.

TOMMY. Why?

WENTWORTH. Because now you can hurry on to the ninth.

TOMMY. I say, Wentworth, I thought you were keen on golf.

WENTWORTH. Only on my own.

TOMMY. You're a fraud. Here I've been absolutely wasting my precious
time on you and--I suppose it wouldn't even interest you to hear that
Gerald went round in seventy-two--five under bogey?

WENTWORTH. It would interest me much more to hear something about this
girl he's engaged to.

TOMMY. Pamela Carey? Oh, she's an absolute ripper.

WENTWORTH. Yes, but you've said that of every girl you've met.

TOMMY. Well, dash it! you don't expect me to describe what she looks
like, do you?

WENTWORTH. Well, no. I shall see that for myself directly. One gets
introduced, you know, Tommy. It isn't as though I were meeting her at
Charing Cross Station for the first time. But who is she?

TOMMY. Well, she was poor old Bob's friend originally. He brought her
down here, but, of course, as soon as she saw Gerald--

WENTWORTH (quickly). Why, _poor_ old Bob?

TOMMY. I don't know; everybody seems to call him that. After all, he
isn't quite like Gerald, is he?

WENTWORTH. Paderewski isn't quite like Tommy Todd, but I don't say "poor
old Paderewski"--nor "poor old Tommy," if it comes to that.

TOMMY. Well, hang it, old man, there's a bit of a difference. Paderewski
and I--well, I mean we don't compete.

WENTWORTH. Oh, I don't know. I daresay he's as rotten at golf as you, if
the truth were really known.

TOMMY. No, but seriously, it's a bit different when you get two brothers
like Gerald and Bob; and whatever the elder one does, the younger one
does a jolly sight better. Now Paderewski and I--

WENTWORTH. Good heavens! I wish I hadn't started you on that. Get
back to Bob. I thought Bob was on the Stock Exchange and Gerald in the
Foreign Office. There can't be very much competition between them there.

TOMMY. Well, b