AMES (thumping the table angrily). And perhaps I'd better tell _you_,
sir, once and for all, that I don't propose to allow rude rudeness from
an impertinent young puppy.

PHILIP (reminiscently). I remember annoying our Brigadier once. He was
covered with red, had a very red face, about twenty medals, and a cold
blue eye. He told me how angry he was for about five minutes while
I stood to attention. I'm afraid you aren't nearly impressive, Uncle
James.

JAMES (rather upset). Oh! (Recovering himself) Fortunately I have other
means of impressing you. The power of the purse goes a long way in this
world. I propose to use it.

PHILIP. I see.... Yes... that's rather awkward, isn't it?

JAMES (pleasantly). I think you'll find it very awkward.

PHILIP (thoughtfully). Yes.

(With an amused laugh JAMES settles down to his paper as if the
interview were over.)

PHILIP (to himself). I suppose I shall have to think of another
argument. (He takes out a revolver from him pocket and fondles it
affectionately.)

JAMES (looking up suddenly as he is doing this--amazed). What on earth
are you doing?

PHILIP. Souvenir from France. Do you know, Uncle. James, that this
revolver has killed about twenty Germans?

JAMES (shortly). Oh! Well, don't go playing about with it here, or
you'll be killing Englishmen before you know where you are.

PHILIP. Well, you never know. (He raises it leisurely and points it at
his uncle.) It's a nice little weapon.

JAMES (angrily). Put it down, sir. You ought to have grown out of monkey
tricks like that in the Army. You ought to know better than to point an
unloaded revolver at anybody. That's the way accidents always happen.

PHILIP. Not when you've been on a revolver course and know all about it.
Besides, it _is_ loaded.

JAMES (very angry because he is frightened suddenly). Put it down at
once, sir. (PHILIP turns it away from him and examines it carelessly.)
What's the matter with you? Have you gone mad suddenly?

PHILIP (mildly). I thought you'd be interested in it. It's shot such a
lot of Germans.

JAMES. Well, it won't want to shoot any more, and the sooner you get rid
of it the better.

PHILIP. I wonder. Does it ever occur to you, Uncle James, that there are
about a hundred thousand people in England who own revolvers, who are
quite accustomed to them and--who have nobody to practise on now?

JAMES. No, sir, it certainly doesn't.

PHILIP (thoughtfully). I wonder if it will make an