em because the great metropolis of England had
ever been infested by numerous quacks, whose arrogant confidence, backed
by their ignorance, had enabled them to impose on the public; either
by premeditated cheats in physic, chymical and galenic, in astrology,
physiognomy, palmistry, mathematics, alchymy, and even government
itself. Of which latter he did not propose to discourse, or meddle with,
since it in no way belonged to his trade or vocation, which he thanked
God he found much more safe, equally honest, and more profitable. But
he, Alexander Bendo, had with unswerving faithfulness and untiring
assiduity for years courted the arts and sciences, and had learned dark
secrets and received signal favours from them. He was therefore prepared
to take part against unlearned wretches, and arrant quacks, whose
impudent addresses and saucy pretences had brought scandal upon sage and
learned men.

However, in a wicked world like this, where virtue was so exactly
counterfeited, and hypocrisy was generally successful, it would be hard
for him, a stranger, to escape censure. But indeed he would submit to
be considered a mountebank if he were discovered to be one. Having made
which statement, he proceeded to draw an ingenious comparison between
a mountebank and a politician, suitable to all ages and dimes, but
especially to this century and country. Both, he intimated, are fain to
supply the lack of higher abilities to which they pretend, with craft;
and attract attention by undertaking strange things which can never be
performed. By both the people are pleased and deluded; the expectation
of good in the future drawing their eyes from the certainty of evil in
the present.

The sage Alexander Bendo then discoursed of miraculous cures which he
could effect, but he would set down no word in his bill which bore an
unclean sound. It was enough that he made himself understood, but indeed
he had seen physicians' bills containing things of which no man
who walked warily before God could approve. Concerning astrological
predictions, physiognomy, divination by dreams, and otherwise, he would
say, if it did not look like ostentation, he had seldom failed, but had
often been of service; and to those who came to him he would guarantee
satisfaction. Nor would he be ashamed to avow his willingness to
practise rare secrets, for the help, conservation, and augmentation of
beauty and comeliness; an endowment granted for the better establishment
o