retreat on either side of the sea, where I would not have searched for
you at least seven or ten years before finding you, if I knew you to be
in prison. But why do I thus torment myself? You do not care for me even
enough to take this trouble. The rustic is right when he says that it
is hard nowadays to find a friend! It is easy to rest the true friend
in time of need. Alas! more than a year has passed since first I was put
inside this tower. I feel hurt, Gawain, that you have so long deserted
me! But doubtless you know nothing of all this, and I have no ground for
blaming you. Yes, when I think of it, this must be the case, and I was
very wrong to imagine such a thing; for I am confident that not for all
the world contains would you and your men have failed to come to release
me from this trouble and distress, if you were aware of it. If for no
other reason, you would be bound to do this out of love for me, your
companion. But it is idle to talk about it--it cannot be. Ah, may the
curse and the damnation of God and St. Sylvester rest upon him who
has shut me up so shamefully! He is the vilest man alive, this envious
Meleagant, to treat me as evilly as possible!" Then he, who is wearing
out his life in grief, ceases speaking and holds his peace. But when
she, who was lingering at the base of the tower, heard what he said,
she did not delay, but acted wisely and called him thus: "Lancelot,"
as loudly as she could; "friend, up there, speak to one who is your
friend!" But inside he did not hear her words. Then she called out
louder yet, until he in his weakness faintly heard her, and wondered
who could be calling him. [427] He heard the voice and heard his name
pronounced, but he did not know who was calling him: he thinks it must
be a spirit. He looks all about him to see, I suppose, if he could espy
any one; but there is nothing to be seen but the tower and himself.
"God," says he, "what is that I heard? I heard some one speak, but see
nothing! Indeed, this is passing marvellous, for I am not asleep, but
wide awake. Of course, if this happened in a dream, I should consider it
an illusion; but I am awake, and therefore I am distressed." Then with
some trouble he gets up, and with slow and feeble steps he moves toward
the little opening. Once there, he peers through it, up and down and to
either side. When he had looked out as best he might, he caught sight of
her who had hailed him. He did not recognise her by sight. But