5
I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.

_Enter _DROMIO of Syracuse_._

How now, sir! is your merry humour alter'd?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaur? you receiv'd no gold?
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner? 10
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?

_Dro. S._ What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?

_Ant. S._ Even now, even here, not half an hour since.

_Dro. S._ I did not see you since you sent me hence, 15
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.

_Ant. S._ Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt,
And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner;
For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeased.

_Dro. S._ I am glad to see you in this merry vein: 20
What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me.

_Ant. S._ Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?
Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that.
[_Beating him._

_Dro. S._ Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest:
Upon what bargain do you give it me? 25

_Ant. S._ Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool, and chat with you,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
And make a common of my serious hours.
When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport, 30
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanour to my looks,
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.

_Dro. S._ Sconce call you it? so you would leave battering, 35
I had rather have it a head: an you use these blows
long, I must get a sconce for my head, and insconce it
too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But,
I pray, sir, why am I beaten?

_Ant. S._ Dost thou not know? 40

_Dro. S._ Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.

_Ant. S._ Shall I tell you why?

_Dro. S._ Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say every
why hath a wherefore.

_Ant. S._ Why, first,--for flouting me; and then, wherefore,-- 45
For urging it the second time to me.

_Dro. S._ Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme nor reason?
Well, sir, I thank you.

_Ant. S._ Thank me, sir! for what? 50

_Dro. S._ Marry, sir, for this something that you g