sat down exhausted in an
arm-chair, and waited till the people of the house began to stir. I
ordered breakfast, and begged the landlord to be with me as soon as
practicable.

With this man I arranged the future management of my household. He
recommended to me for my personal servant a certain _Bendel_, whose
honest and intelligent countenance instantly interested me. It was he,
who from that moment accompanied me through life with a sympathizing
attachment, and shared with me my gloomy destiny. I passed the whole day
in my apartments with servants out of place, shoemakers, tailors, and
shopkeepers; I provided myself with all necessaries, and bought large
quantities of jewels and precious stones, merely to get rid of some of my
piles of gold; but it seemed scarcely possible to diminish the heap.

Meanwhile I contemplated my situation with most anxious doubts. I dared
not venture one step from my door, and at evening ordered forty
wax-lights to be kindled in my saloon, before I left the dark chamber. I
thought with horror of the dreadful scene with the schoolboys, and
determined, whatever it might cost, once more to sound public opinion.
The moon, at this season, illumined the night. Late in the evening I
threw a wide cloak around me, pulled down my hat over my eyes, and glided
out of the house trembling like a criminal. I walked first along the
shadows of the houses to a remote open place; I then abandoned their
protection, stepped out into the moonshine, resolving to learn my destiny
from the lips of the passers-by.

But spare me, my friend, the painful repetition of what I was condemned
to undergo! The deepest pity seemed to inspire the fairer sex; but my
soul was not less wounded by this than by the contumely of the young, and
the proud disdain of the old, especially of those stout and well-fed men,
whose dignified shadows seemed to do them honour. A lovely, graceful
maiden, apparently accompanying her parents, who seemed not to look
beyond their own footsteps, accidentally fixed her sparkling eyes upon
me. She obviously started as she remarked my shadowless figure; she hid
her beautiful face beneath her veil, hung down her head, and passed
silently on.

I could bear it no longer. Salt streams burst forth from my eyes, and
with a broken heart I hurried tremblingly back into darkness. I was
obliged to grope along by the houses, in order to feel my steps secure,
and slowly and late I reached my dwelling