* *

"MORE THAN MILLION SALE.
Waste! Waste! Waste!"

_Newspaper Poster._

In mercy we suppress the title of our contemporary.

* * * * *

"The man in custody has been identified as the result of the
efforts of the Birkenhead detective stag."--_Liverpool Paper._

A variation on the old-fashioned sleuth-hound.

* * * * *

From the report of a speech by Admiral Sir PERCY SCOTT:--

"He might say that when the Germans were demolarised at the Battle
of Jutland ..."

_Scottish Paper._

This confirms our impression that, whatever happened at Jutland, we
certainly drew the German Navy's teeth.

* * * * *

QUESTIONS.

How did mankind get to all corners of the earth? and what is the cause
of exploding suns? These are among the questions put by Professor A.
W. BICKERTON, of the London Astronomical Society, and they would
be solved, it seems, if our learned men would only band themselves
together. I have no wish to hamper the good work, but a moment's
reflection suggests a number of other questions simply asking to be
answered.

For instance, what happens when an irresistible force meets Sir ERIC
GEDDES?

And why is it that while we hear of thousands of people losing their
umbrellas we have never yet heard of a single case where a man openly
admitted that he had found one?

And is there any reason why the modern novel should not end happily,
instead of the hero and heroine always marrying at the last moment.

And how does it happen that Thanet is the best holiday-place in this
country and enjoys more sunshine than any other resort?

And could not _The Daily Mail_ extend the same sunshine privilege to
other parts?

And what makes a music-hall audience laugh when a comedian changes his
hat and mutters the mystic word, "Winston"?

And who is the gentleman referred to?

And why is it that nine-tenths of the coon-singers on the halls
are always wanting to get back to their dear old homes? And who is
stopping them in their noble desire? And is there any explanation why
all these singers seem to have their homes in distant Alabam, where
the roses keep on climbing round the door, just close to where the
cotton and the corn are growing all the year round, only later in life
to leave the dear old place to take up music-hall work here, and then
spend the remainder of their lives telli