his office to fix it up between
themselves.

Ross dined with the Major that night, and the latter said he wasn't feeling
at all well. The way Ross's Mr. Brown had licked his thumb and the
lightning speed with which he had turned up exactly the right
correspondence, office minute or Routine Order, had nearly given the Major
heart disease. Besides, he'd lost the argument. "I was too heavily
handicapped from the start," said he, "by not being in a position to lick
_my_ thumb or to stick _my_ pencil behind my ear."

It was a good idea to introduce the Major and Mr. Brown, wasn't it,
Charles? The Major says he was the first to suggest it, and Ross is careful
to leave the credit with the Major, because he is sure that the idea really
originated in the fertile and masterful brain of his Mr. Brown.

Yours ever,

HENRY.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MISS DAISY DIMPLE, THE REVUE FAVOURITE, SELLS FLAGS.]

* * * * *

ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY.

From a South African Parish Magazine:--

"Many thanks to the Rev. ---- and the Rev. ---- for coming to St. ----
during the past month. The Rector went off to Clifton and Park Town,
and enjoyed the change almost as much as the congregation."

* * * * *

"A bird flew into Willesden Court yesterday and perched above the
magistrate's head.

"Alderman Pinkham: 'It's not often we 'get the bird' on the bench.'"

But the "Beak" is there all the time.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS: LATEST INVERSION.

{CONSERVATISM, LIBERALISM, LABOUR.}
"DON'T FORGET, DEAR LADY, WHEN THE TIME COMES, THAT IT
WAS _I_ WHO GAVE YOU THE APPLE."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, June 18th._--Arising out of the dethronement of TINO a cloud-burst
of questions descended upon Lord ROBERT CECIL, who took refuge under a
wide-spreading umbrella of official ignorance. Mr. LYNCH was annoyed
because his question whether the Allies would oppose the foundation of a
Greek Republic was dismissed as "hypothetical," but Lord ROBERT assured him
that there was "nothing abusive" in the epithet. But is that so? Suppose he
were to describe Mr. LYNCH as a "hypothetical statesman"?

A detailed history of a Canterbury lamb, from its purchase in New Zealand
at 6-3/8_d._ a pound to its sale to the British butcher at 10