k of!--if it should be wrong
somehow, in body or soul--what could I do then? Nothing, only bow my
head and acknowledge that the arm of fate had reached me at last. You
cannot think what a dreadful time I had all alone here last evening.
I cried and prayed that vengeance might not fall on you and him--the
innocent--but on me alone--if all I have suffered up to now is not
enough. And then a woodpecker came and sat outside under the window,
with its eerie tapping. And a little after came a magpie croaking on
the roof, like a chuckling fiend. It made me shudder all over. I
dare say you will laugh at my weakness. But it might be one of those
mysterious threads of fate. I have seen the like before--and you know
how ill and nervous I was ... at the time.... Now I have read your
letter I feel calmer, but I know I shall not get over it altogether
till I have seen him with my own eyes. Forgive me for writing about
this, but I had to tell you. And I know it will not hurt you.

"But then I have been happy as well. I have been getting everything
ready in your room--yours and his! You will see it all when you
come, but I must tell you a little about it now. I have put down cork
matting all over the floor, to keep out the draught. But when I
had done it, I had a sort of guilty feeling. Only a bit of
matting--nothing much, after all--but it came into my mind that many
children have to run about on bare floors where the cold can nip their
feet through the cracks. And I felt almost as if I ought to pull it
all up again. But, after all, it was for _him_--and what could be too
good for him! I would lay it double in his room!

"I have some good news for you. The Perakorpi road is already begun.
And then some bad news--the drainage business looks like being given
up altogether--just when everything was ready, and we were going to
start. Just quarrelling and jealousy among the people round--real
peasant obstinacy, and of course with Tapola Antti at the head. A
miserable lot! I should like to knock some of them down. I have
fought as hard as I could for it, thundering like Moses at Sinai, and
sacrificing the golden calf. The thing must go through at any cost. If
they will not back me up, then I will start the work alone. And
there are not many of them, anyway--we are to have a meeting again
to-morrow.

"And then, when you come home, I can set to work in earnest. If only
_he_ may turn out as I hope--then perhaps one day we might work on it