profusely waving his hand in adieu.

Roberts, taking out his handkerchief and wiping his forehead: "Well,
thank Heaven! we're rid of him at last."

Campbell: "I'm not so sure of that. He'll probably miss the train. You
may be sure Mrs. McIlheny is waiting for him outside of it, and then
we shall have them both on our hands indefinitely. We shall have to
explain and explain. Fiction has entirely failed us, and I feel that
the truth is giving way under our feet. I'll tell you what, Roberts!"

Roberts, in despair: "What?"

Campbell: "Why, if McIlheny should happen to come back alone, we
mustn't wait for him to renew his invitation to drink; we must take
him out ourselves, and get him drunk; so drunk he can't remember
anything; stone drunk; dead drunk. Or, that is, _you_ must. I haven't
got anything to do with him. I wash my hands of the whole affair."

Roberts: "You mustn't, Willis! You know I can't manage without you.
And you know I can't take the man out and get him drunk. I couldn't. I
shouldn't feel that it was right."

Campbell: "Yes, I know. You'd have to drink with him; and you've got
no head at all. You'd probably get drunk first, and I don't know what
I should say to Agnes."

Roberts: "That isn't the point, Willis. I couldn't ask the man to
drink; I should consider it immoral. Besides, what should you do if
the cook came while I was away? You wouldn't know her."

Campbell: "Well, neither would you, if you stayed."

Roberts: "That's true. There doesn't seem to be any end of it, or any
way out of it. I must just stay and bear it."

Campbell: "Of _course_ you must stay. And when McIlheny comes back,
you'd better ask him out to look upon the wine when it is red."

Roberts: "No; that's impossible, quite. I shouldn't mind the
association--though it isn't very pleasant; but to offer drink to a
man already--Do you suppose it would do to ask him out for a glass of
soda? Plain soda would be good for him. Or I could order claret in
it, if the worst came to the worst."

Campbell: "Claret! What Mr. McIlheny requires is forty-rod whiskey in
a solution of sulphuric acid. You must take that, or fourth-proof
brandy straight, with him."

Roberts, miserably: "I couldn't; you know I couldn't."

Campbell: "What are you going to do, then?"

Roberts: "I don't know; I don't know. I--I'll give him in charge to a
policeman."

Campbell: "And make a scandal here?"

Roberts: "Of course it can't be done!"

Campbell: "O