have the pleasure. I'm afraid Mrs.
McIlheny is of a suspicious nature; and when Mr. Mac comes back, it'll
be to offer renewed hostility instead of renewed hospitality. I don't
see anything for us but flight, Roberts. Or, _you_ can't fly, you poor
old fellow! You've got to stay and look out for that cook. I'd be glad
to stay for you, but, you see, I should not know her."

Roberts: "I don't know her either, Willis. I was just thinking whether
you couldn't manage this wretched man rather better alone. I--I'm
afraid I confuse you; and he gets things out of me--admissions, you
know--"

Campbell: "No, no! Your moral support is everything. That lie of mine
is getting whittled away to nothing; we shall soon be down to the bare
truth. If it hadn't been for these last admissions of yours, I don't
know what I should have done. They were a perfect inspiration. I'll
tell you what, Roberts! I believe you can manage this business twice
as well without me. But you must keep your eye out for the cook! You
mustn't let any respectable butter-ball leave the room without asking
her if she's the one. You'll know how to put it more delicately now.
And I won't complicate you with McIlheny any more. I'll just step out
here--"

Roberts: "No, no, no! You mustn't go, Willis. You mustn't indeed! I
shouldn't know what to do with that tipsy nuisance. Ah, here he comes
again!"

Campbell, cheerily, to the approaching McIlheny: "I hope you didn't
lose your train, Mr. McIlheny!"

McIlheny, darkly: "Never moind my thrain, sor! My wife says it was a
put-up jahb between ye. She says ye were afther laughun', and lukun'
and winkun' at her before this mahn slipped up to spake to her. Now
what do ye make of that?"

Campbell: "We were laughing, of course. I had been laughing at my
friend's predicament, in being left to meet a lady he'd never seen
before. You laughed at it yourself."

McIlheny: "I did, sor."

Roberts, basely truckling to him: "It was certainly a ludicrous
position."

Campbell: "And when we explained it, it amused your good lady too. She
laughed as much as yourself--"

McIlheny: "She did, sor. Ye're right. Sure it would make a cow laugh.
Well, gintlemen, ye must excuse me. Mrs. McIlheny says I mustn't stop
for the next thrain, and I'll have to ask you to join me in that glass
of wine some other toime."

Campbell: "Oh, it's all right, Mr. McIlheny. You've only got about
half a minute." He glances at the clock, and McIlheny runs out,