ad,
you're going in?

_L. B. (buttoning his gloves nervously)._ Ye--e--s. Captain's orders!

_C. B._ Well, I hope you'll win.

_L. B._ I'll do my best; can Cricketer do more?

_C. B._ No. But, by Jove! you'll find it hard to score.

_L. B._ What? Bowling killing?

_C. B._ Beastly! Talk of "shying"?
CROSSLAND'S a lamb to HEALY.

_L. B._ Ah! that's trying.
But then they haven't got a SHAW, Sir, surely?

_C. B._ No; but, by Jingo! they have more--a MORLEY!
Straight on the middle stump. And then old GLAD
Breaks awful, right and left, and shoots like mad.
I say they ought to be disqualified
For unfair bowling.

_L. B._ Humph! that game's been tried;
But Umpire doesn't always seem to see it.

_C. B._ Ah! Umpires are such funkers.

_L. B._ Well, so be it.
Must do my best. What sort of wickets?

_C. B._ Crumbling.
Must meet the ball with a straight bat; no fumbling,
Or out you go!

_L. B._ And how's the fielding?

_C. B._ Dicky!
'Tis there you'll have the pull that wickets sticky
Or cut up, through the influence of weather,
Can't neutralise. _They're never all together._
Some run like hares, some throw in like a Krupp;
But what they fail in is in "backing up."

_L. B._ Thanks be! I see my chance then. If they're loose
In fielding I can slog 'em to the doose.

_C. B._ But don't take liberties, my lad. No jumps
In for a drive; they're always on the stumps.
And then their wicket-keeper's like a cat.

_L. B._ Well, anyhow _you_ carried out your bat,
Despite the lot of them. Can "_crack_" do more?

_C. B. (significantly)._ Yes!--I kept up my stumps, but
_could not score_!
A "Not out, nothing" may be meritorious,
And very useful, but 'tis hardly glorious,
A stolid SCOTTON'S worth his salt, at need;
But, after all, he's not a GRACE or READ.
_You_'ll have to hit, as well as guard your wicket,
If you'd be popular. Blocking is not Cricket!

_L. B._ Humph! no, not quite. My orders are to score
And bring the House down.

_C. B._ That will cause a roar
When you take back your bat to the Pavilion.
A Cricketer must smite to please the Million.

* * * * *

ROUTLED